Treat yourself like an ANGEL

Photo by Sebastian Voortman on Pexels.com

As Seth Gillihan points out many of us struggle with a general negative feeling about ourselves. Maybe you think awful things about yourself—that you’re stupid, disgusting, unlovable, or worthless. Perhaps you’re constantly on your own case about not doing enough, or “messing up” everything you try. Or maybe it’s hard to find words for your sense of inadequacy, and while you don’t believe you’re bad, you have a chronic sense of not being happy with yourself.

It’s hard to feel at ease when you have a pervasive feeling that, in some fundamental way, you’re not OK. Self-neglect can be more subtle but similarly damaging. We might be very considerate toward everyone in our lives except for the person who inhabits our own skin.

Try these four strategies to show yourself some care:

• Take the time to plan your day in a thoughtful way.
• Prepare a nice lunch for yourself.
• Carefully consider your own needs and how you can meet them.
• Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you.

It’s very difficult to force ourselves to feel a certain way about who we are. Changing unhelpful thoughts is useful to some extent, especially if those thoughts are overly harsh and simply not true. Try replacing any negative self-talk with a positive framework. As an example, try treating yourself like an ANGEL:

A – Awesome
N – Nice
G – Goodhearted
E – Exceptional
L – Loveable idiot (reserved for very special occasions only 😜).

While ‘loveable idiot’ term was coined by Alain de Botton in the context of interpersonal relationships, I think it applies very well to  our relationship with ourselves and helps us to learn to treat ourselves with laughter rather than criticism…

Not all angels reside in heaven.
Some walk the earth.
Just like you…

THE END

Adapted from Psychology Today

If you ever need a helping hand…

 

Photo by Matheus Bertelli on Pexels.com

 

“Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it’s at the end of your arm…”

Audrey Hepburn

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What have you learnt as a child?

If a child lives with criticism
He learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility
He learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule
He learns to be shy.

If a child lives with tolerance
He learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement
He learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise
He learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with fairness
He learns justice.

If a child lives with security
He learns faith.

If a child lives with approval
He learns to like himself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship
He learns to find love in the world.. !

What have you learnt as a child?

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• Image 1 from Children learn what they live
• Poem by Dorothy Law Nolte
• Image 2 from http://zayogablog.com/

ENDS

YOU are AMAZING!

From http://www.anonymousartofrevolution.coml

From http://i-am-poopsie.blogspot.co.nz

🙂

THE END

You DO matter and you DO make a difference

“When we seek for connection, we restore the world to wholeness. Our seemingly separate lives become meaningful as we discover how truly necessary we are to each other.”

Margaret Wheatley

From http://www.themastershift.com/

As human beings we are hard wired to seek connection with other human beings. Being connected is the only way we can really get to know ourselves.

We all need special people in our lives who see everything we are and won’t let us be anything less. They see our potential and through their eyes, we start seeing ourselves the same way, we start re-discovering ourselves, we start realising that we do matter and can make a difference in this world.

From http://belfastcreativecoalition.org/

You DO matter and you DO make a difference!

THE END

Your value is the product of your thoughts…

From http://www.santabanta.com

Have a wonderful week 🙂 

THE END

How can I improve my self-esteem?

“Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself as a person. Those with high self-esteem believe that they are adequate, strong and worthy of a good life, while those with low self-esteem feel inadequate and worthless. Low self-esteem can develop in childhood and continue throughout adulthood, causing great emotional pain. Therefore, it’s important to develop a healthy, positive sense of self.

Many people base their self-esteem on external factors, such as how much money they earn, how much they weigh and whether people like and appreciate them. If one of these external variables change, self-esteem can be broadly affected. For example, if your self-esteem is based on the fact that someone else loves you, then you risk feeling extremely vulnerable and worthless if that person’s love ends. By the same token, building self-esteem is not an easy task if you have been abused or have suffered years of personal or professional failure.

From http://reikouken.blogspot.co.nz

Building your self-esteem and creating a positive self-awareness comes from taking an inventory of your own strengths and abilities as a human being. Being at peace with who you are and what you have to offer the world is a major part of having high self-esteem. This “inner peace” does not mean that you are unaware of your weaknesses; it merely means that you accept who you are and genuinely like the person you have become.

From http://www.whisperoftheheart.net

You should think about yourself as deserving of attention, admiration and proper maintenance. Avoid the pitfall of paying too much attention to the happiness and well-being of others and too little to your own.

From http://imgfave.com/

If you struggle with low self-esteem, it is often helpful to connect with others with the same problem.

From http://www.self-esteem-experts.com

Beginning the inner dialogue about who you are and what you have to offer the world is an important process in building self-esteem.

From http://www.pinterest.com/

Talking to friends, family and colleagues can also be useful in further defining who you are and what you have to offer.

But remember that the most important conversation you have about self-esteem is with yourself. Become your own personal cheerleader. Don’t be afraid to celebrate even your smallest successes. Ask yourself what you fear, and search within yourself for ways you can cope with these worries and fears.

From http://www.pinterest.com

Learning to know and trust yourself is a long but worthwhile process. Throughout life you may need to search within yourself again and again to find your own empowerment and strength.”

From Building Self-Esteem

BE HAPPY WITH THE PERSON YOU ARE!!!

From http://www.sodahead.com

 

12 simple suggestions for building confidence and self-esteem:

1. Make three lists: one of your strengths, one of your achievements, and one of the things that you admire about yourself. Try to get a friend or relative to help you with these lists. Keep the lists in a safe place and read through them regularly.

2. Think positively about yourself. Remind yourself that, despite your problems, you are a unique, special, and valuable person, and that you deserve to feel good about yourself. Identify and challenge any negative thoughts that you may have about yourself, such as ‘I am a loser’, ‘I never do anything right’, or ‘No one really likes me’.

3. Dress in clothes that make you feel good about yourself.

4. Eat good food as part of a healthy, balanced diet.

5. Exercise regularly.

6. Ensure that you are getting enough sleep.

7. Manage your stress levels.

8. Make your living space comfortable, and attractive. Display items that remind you of your achievements or of the special times and people in your life.

9. Do more of the things that you enjoy doing. Do at least one thing that you enjoy every day, and remind yourself that you deserve it.

10. Do something nice for others. For example, strike up a conversation with the person at the till, visit a friend who is sick, or get involved with a local charity.

11. Try to spend more time with those you hold near and dear.

12. Avoid people, places, and institutions that treat you badly or that make you feel bad about yourself. This could mean being more assertive.

(By Neel Burton)

 THE END

 

Do you RESPECT YOURSELF?

http://theladiesfeed.wordpress.com

“Do you respect yourself?!” exclaimed Victoria while pulling me away from the living room where we were celebrating my 17th birthday.

It was a very quiet party. Only my 3 closest University friends have been invited and Anton. I did not want him to be there, but I had no choice. I did not want to have him in my life at all. I could not even comprehend how he actually got in there.

I knew Anton for only a few weeks, but in those few weeks all my life went upside down.

He seemed to be always around, monitoring every step I made or every breath I took. If he was not physically around, then there were phone calls. Hundreds and hundreds of phone calls each day. I was scared to answer the phone and even more scared not to answer it, as then he would come to my place full of rage: “Why did not you answer the phone? Where have you been?”

From http://www.dailymail.co.uk

I could not comprehend how that happened, but Anton somehow got into a belief that he was my boyfriend. He even started talking about marrying me in a year once he graduates from the Police College. That was when he was talking about me being the love of his life of course. However before even finishing talking about his love, he often was falling into a rage. Then my things were flying around the place and his fist was punching the wall a millimetre away from my face.

“Do you respect yourself?” Victoria kept exclaiming, while pulling me into a distant corner. I could not understand what she was talking about.

Victoria never met Anton before. I never even told her about him. So far he was behaving his best at my party. He treated me OK in public, except an occasional hiss, a pinch or a quiet jab that no one else would notice.

“He is not a proper human being. He is a psychopath! Classic textbook case. I’ve got only Cs in psychology, but I could see that straight away. You’ve got top marks. Why can’t you see that? Why do you allow him to be near you? How can you allow yourself to be treated like that? Do you have any respect for yourself?”

From http://psychopathvictims.com

I’ve never seen Victoria to be so agitated.

“You should stop that straight away. You should not allow him to get anywhere near you. Don’t answer the phone. Don’t talk to him. Get him out of your life. Do you hear me? Completely out! You should stop that before you become just another domestic violence statistics…. ”

Next day at the University she pulled me into the library and got for me a pile of books on psychopaths  as well as books on building confidence and self-esteem.  I spent the rest of the day at the library, and then another day, and another… It was quiet a peaceful there: no phone calls, no Anton. In a few months he vanished from my life…

From http://trusted.md

A decade later Victoria gave me a ring:

“What are you up to?” she asked.

“Painting the house,” I felt totally exhausted after spending a few months preparing the walls and putting 4 coats of paint.

“Were all your efforts appreciated?”

“Hm, I guess so. I was asked a few days ago whether I could paint the roof as well, once I finish with all the walls. So I must be doing a good job…”

“And what is your prince doing?”

“Daydreaming, reading and enjoying a cup of tea.”

“Do you respect yourself for goodness sake!” exclaimed Victoria. “Every relationship requires equal efforts by both parties. Chuck out all the paintbrushes and do some daydreaming too. Or reading, sailing, dancing… Do something YOU are ENJOYING!”

And I did…

THE END

Make your own happiness a priority

“Make sure you don’t start seeing yourself through the eyes of those who don’t value you. Know your worth even if they don’t.”

Thema Davis

As Melanie Greenberg points out, the biggest struggle in life is the struggle to know, embrace, and accept ourselves, with all of our faults and imperfections. Many of us were raised by parents who were themselves victims – who were not taught to see their own worth, or who were not really seen by their own parents. Our grandparents generation faced massive trauma and upheaval due to the Second World War and the Great Depression. The focus was on survival and minimizing the damage, rather than on love, appreciation and intimacy. Individuals and families today face the challenges of long commutes, longer working hours, and global economic uncertainty. These stresses can beat us down, or make us build walls around ourselves that are so dense that even our nearest and dearest can’t get in. Yet, there is another way.

It is not selfish to be kind to yourself, to take care of yourself and to respect yourself. If you do not love yourself, no one else will. You can’t change others, but you can change yourself. Use ‘could’ instead of ‘should’, as your life is your choice, not your ‘duty’. Make your own happiness a priority, because YOU deserve it.

From http://richardacross.com

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Jealousy: cure that disease to save your love

From http://izquotes.com

“People commonly take blatant jealousy to be a sign of true affection and commitment. “Isn’t that sweet?” they might say. “He’s trying so hard to protect your relationship. He must really care.”

Well, not so fast. Jealousy is a sign all right — but what it points to is trouble ahead.

From http://www.thehavenhealingcentre.co.uk

Here are three reasons why:

Jealousy signals a lack of confidence in oneself:

If you are certain that everyone your partner meets through the day is smarter, wittier, better-looking, and more fun than you — and therefore a threat to steal away your beloved — that is strong incentive to keep him or her on a short leash. Limiting exposure to potential competitors becomes a high-stakes battle for relationship survival — or so you think.

The truth is, no amount of pouty possessiveness will keep you safe. In fact, it is far more likely to damage your relationship than any of your so-called shortcomings. The best defense? Get to work on your self-esteem. 😉

From http://www.rottenecards.com

Jealousy signals a lack of trust in one’s partner.

No one reaches adulthood without suffering a broken heart along the way. That means we each carry around a bucket full of painful memories. We sift it for clues as to what went wrong and strategies for preventing a repeat performance. After a hurtful betrayal, trust is the first thing to go and the last to return — even in a brand-new relationship. Jealous behavior is a way of saying, “You must prove you won’t hurt me too. Until then I’m going to watch you very closely.” But it’s impossible for anyone to prove what they won’t do — and unfair to expect them to try. Here’s a better approach: “You are free to be yourself. I will trust you until you give me a reason not to.”

Trust is the glue that holds together any committed, loving relationship. Jealousy is a solvent that corrodes trust, dissolving the bond that keeps two lovers united.

From http://www.pagecovers.com/

Jealousy signals an unhealthy need for control.

Rival lovers aren’t the only thing that can threaten a jealous person. Chances are, a suspicious individual will also seek to limit anything in his partner’s life that doesn’t include him: time spent with friends, family, or pursuing solitary hobbies and interests.

Jealousy is all about trying to restrict, manipulate, and monitor another person’s behavior and choices. Look out if your relationship is increasingly filled with questions such as, “Where were you? Why were you talking to him? Who sent you that text message? You heard from that person on Facebook again?” Insecurity often leads one person to attempt to orchestrate situations to eliminate perceived threats, but this kind of treatment is toxic over the long haul. Indeed, jealous behavior early on may be a harbinger of even tighter control as the relationship progresses.

From http://rizala.deviantart.com

A relationship thrives on freedom—the freedom for individuals to grow and develop, to be authentic and genuine, to pursue new opportunities. Unfounded jealousy is a stranglehold sure to suffocate any romantic relationship. Want a lasting, healthy love relationship? Make sure both partners have the space, encouragement, and autonomy to be who they are — without someone else watching every breath and movement.”

From http://www.jonathanlockwoodhuie.com

From eHarmony

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From http://izquotes.com

Wake up and Live ! 😉

THE END