Cultivate your growth mindset

You know that saying “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks?” That saying has perpetuated a myth that the old dogs’ brain has hardened in ways that make him unable to learn anything new. For many decades the scientific community thought this to be true — of animals and people alike. But, as science has progressed, we’ve found that simply isn’t reality.

Modern neuroscience has proven that our brains are more malleable than we could have ever imagined—well into later stages of life. We can teach an old dog new tricks!

Still, many of us get down when we face the difficulties of learning new skills or mastering old ones. We blame the rapidly evolving technology environment, or job competition, or lagging energy levels for our failings. But we don’t need to. All we need to do is adopt a growth mindset and we can learn and grow as we please.

The Growth Mindset

The idea of a growth mindset came from the famous Stanford researcher, Carol Dweck. Dweck and her team stumbled upon the phenomenon when observing students and their various responses to failure. Why was it, they wondered, that some students could bounce back from a setback like nothing happened, while others sulked and fumed when obstacles fell in their way?

It wasn’t the magnitude of the setback, nor the consequences of the setbacks that determined the student’s responding behaviors—rather, it was their mindsets. Some students had a fixed mindset while others had a growth mindset. The ones with a fixed mindset believed that capabilities are innate and were sure that no matter how hard they tried, they wouldn’t be able to do anything about their failures. The growth mindset kids believed that they could eventually learn to do anything if they put in effort and practice.

How to Get Your Own Growth Mindset

If you don’t already have a growth mindset, there is good news– developing one isn’t too hard! The real struggle comes down to alleviating the shame and embarrassment we feel around failure and set-backs.

1. First, we should acknowledge our set-backs or unfavorable circumstances. We don’t want to call them failures, though. We want to call them learning opportunities. Marvel at the processes more than the results. 

2. Now we want to acknowledge any shame that might accompany those learning opportunities. This is a key step because it alleviates lingering embarrassment.

3. Next, laugh it off! You can either laugh it off by yourself or with others. We recommend finding others who are non-judgmental and supportive who you can laugh with. This helps normalise laughing at your setbacks and helps give you perspective.

4. View your setback as an opportunity. At least, it’s a great story to tell! At most, it’s an opportunity to learn where you can improve.

5. Reflect. If your setback took place in a business setting, make sure to take note of it so you can avoid it in the future!

6. Lastly, and most importantly, stay curious. Never lose your sense of wonder for the world. Never stop wanting to know more…

Whenever you encounter a new challenge, respond to your fixed mindset thoughts with growth mindset and take the growth mindset action!

Source: A Growth Mindset Will Change Your Life – (the1thing.com)

Men are as you wish to see them…

Spotted the following quote on Facebook today:

IgnoringIt made me think… Would I ignore the red flags? I think I would. Why? Because….

“Men are as you wish to see them, look at them in kindness and you will do good both to them and to yourself. They will become better, and you too. It is simple, isn’t it?”

( from ‘The Fisherman’s Behest‘ by Maxim Gorky, 1913 )

Father_and_son

What about you?

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Credits: Photo by autos

 

Think of all the beauty that is still left in and around you and be happy…

Anne-Frank

Beautiful words of a truly amazing teenage girl, who was arrested and deported to concentration camps after almost 2 years in hiding. Anne’s father, Otto Frank, was the only one of the eight people to survive. The rest of his family, including Anne, died of disease and deprivation in concentration camps….

Anne Frank (1929-1945)

 anne frank quotes

No matter what happens in your life, think of all the beauty that is still left in and around you and be happy…

🙂

 

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Image 2: From http://quotesfish.com

What Are your Assumptions?

Image

Life is full of “unknowns”, so we all speculate and assume what we don’t know. We make decisions despite that and to the best of our guesses.

The same applies to our relationships with other people. We all hold certain assumptions towards other people (partner, close friends, or distant acquaintances). We give these, too, their share of wild “guesses”.

If we’re the suspicious type, we’re likely to have assumptions of negative intentions. We doubt what others are up to despite their disclosure. We’re uncertain about what they hide behind a probable facade they wear & distrust the truth of what they share or declare. We assume otherwise just to beware…

The assumptions that we have today are beliefs and expectations about reality which we developed at some point in the past.

While some of these assumptions can be constructive or harmless, other assumptions have the ability to destroy the relationship and trigger the whole chain of tragic events.

A mere assumption that his wife had an affair leads Alex, the main character in The Banishment, to force his wife to make an abortion in a hope to re-build their relationship and save their marriage once this unborn baby is out of the way. As the result of that mere assumption he loses everything: his baby, his wife, his family. Pure lack of communication takes a deadly turn…

It can be difficult to recognize assumptions because they tend to be buried deep in our subconscious minds where they become ingrained with our personal worldview.

Take as an example Othello –  a highly respected Venetian state servant, a Moor with an exotic cultural past.  As Peter Winsley points out, Othello is a truly admirable man whose achievements and successes are due to his own abilities and efforts rather than blood-line and inheritance. Why this admirable military leader, successful man with a bright strategic mind falls pray to Iago’s insinuations?

Iago’s detects and exploits Othello’s insecurities, causing him to falsely suspect people around him. He intuits that Othello feels insecure due to his racial identity, especially given that he has married a beautiful white woman, and manipulates Othello into self-destructive behaviours. He plays on Othello’s self-doubts, subconscious assumption and fear that he is not good enough for Desdemona because of his racial identity and that if someone “better” comes along, Desdemona would prefer that person over him.

It takes just a few seeds of self-doubt to grow and overwhelm Othello’s trust in himself, in others, and in the world…

OTHELLO Poster

As Charles Gosset points out, it is easy to “assume” that our assumptions are just the way things are for us and that there’s nothing we can do to change them. However we all have the power and ability to challenge and change our negative assumptions once we first learn how to spot these slippery tricksters.

What are your assumptions? 

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Image 1: from https://coachingur3ps.wordpress.com
Image 2: From http://quotes.lifehack.org
Image 3: The banishment
Image 4: Othello
Image 5: From http://greaternw.org/

Strong Is The New Pretty AND Be Yourself Is The New Happy

Have you seen the “Strong Is The New Pretty” photo series by Kate Parker?

Kate, a photographer based in Atlanta, Georgia, is proud of her two daughters (Ella, 9, and Alice, 6) and takes beautiful photos to capture them the way she sees them.

strong-is-the-new-pretty-kate-parker-31
“I wanted this series of images to show their boldness, their strength and the beauty in them, as they are,” Parker writes on her website.

“My girls know that who they are is just perfect. Their silly, adventurous, frustrated, happy, LOUD, athletic, fierce, funny selves. They don’t need to have their hair done, clothes matching, or even be clean to be loved or accepted. Strong is the new pretty.“

strong-is-the-new-pretty-kate-parker-6

Strong Is The New Pretty
AND
Be Yourself Is The New Happy

🙂

strong-is-the-new-pretty-kate-parker-7

From http://www.boredpanda.com

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