Monthly Archives: December 2019

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New year, new life…

It’s time to say goodbye to 2019. Let’s remember all the special moments we had that year, forget all the bad and walk into 2020 with a clear heart and mind…

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It’s time to unfold new pages and start a new chapter in our lives because it is a New Year….

Have a very happy New Year full of joy, smiles and laughter…
New year, new life…

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A moment of passion…

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A moment of Passion so easily shared,
With no fear or regret,
The memories flood through my mind,
A moment of Passion I’ll never forget
A moment of Passion is like a drug,
It takes me so high,
Needing to get another fix,
A moment of Passion can never lie
A moment of Passion when we are alone,
You desire it too,
Unable to control it,
A moment of Passion shared with YOU

By Nathaniel Hayes

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How to survive a chronically ill Christmas

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For many of us Christmas is a time of excitement and celebration, but for those living with a chronic condition it can be challenging – both physically and emotionally. If you have a friend or family member who has a chronic illness, there are some very simple things you can do to help them over the festive period that can make a big difference….

  1. Going Out
    Don’t expect them to go to every party, family gathering and drinks with friends. Remember: just because they did it today doesn’t mean they can do it tomorrow. Space out social gatherings or suggest quieter venues. Ask them what they can and can’t have at social gatherings.
  2. Offer to help with Christmas preparations
    Preparing for Christmas Day can be stressful for the most of us, whether it’s buying presents, visiting family or simply managing expectations, but for those with a chronic illness it can be overwhelming. Offer help. Sit and down and work out what really needs to be done and what is achievable. However don’t take over and do it all. You might think you are helping but in reality, this might leave your loved one or friend feeling left out and inadequate.
  3. Spend time with them over the festive season
    People with chronic illnesses often do not tell their doctor or healthcare professional that they are struggling with their mental health. It can be very hard to distinguish between a symptom of their physical illness and what is potentially depression. Being there for them creates a support network which makes them feel cared for.
  4. Offer to bring a dish over
    Because someone with a chronic illness can tire more easily, offering to prepare them a meal can go a long way.
  5. Check they have enough medication over the festive season
    Over the festive season, shops will be shut and medical services limited. Make sure that someone with a chronic illness has enough medication to last over Christmas and into the New Year.
  6. Don’t forget that everyone has different needs
    Our needs are very individual and unless you know someone very well, it’s probably better to firstly let them know that you would like to do something that will help them and listen to what they suggest.
  7. Ask them how they are and listen… really listen!
    Someone may look or appear well, but that doesn’t mean they’re feeling okay. Giving someone a chance to talk about how they feel could make their day better and make sure they feel supported.

Do you know someone who is spending Christmas on their own due to their illness? Invite them over even if it’s just for a cup of tea. People with depression, mental health issues and anxiety are often forgotten. If they aren’t up for a visit, give them a call…

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When Christmas is difficult…

Lonely Christmas

No matter where you find yourself in the world during the month of December, there’s never any escaping Christmas expectations. Seasonally, this is supposed to be a time for family and loved ones – and we’re constantly reminded of how we should be celebrating, through films, adverts and songs on the radio. But for those of us facing a difficult Christmas this year, that’s the last thing we want to be reminded of…

There is a number of reasons why many people find Christmas season very difficult including death in the family, loss of a job, loss of a marriage or relationship, financial collapse, loneliness, depression, or family problems.  A study into festive despondency by psychiatric healthcare facility Florida House found that 29 per cent of people feel depressed at Christmas because it reminds them that they don’t have anyone to share it with. Meanwhile, for 69 per cent it simply makes them realise how broke they are…

Are you facing a difficult Christmas season? Are you overly stressing about what needs to be done or the upcoming family gathering?  Are you isolating yourself from all of it and everyone?

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So, if you are feeling like the only person in the world who is not filled with festive joy, how can you make it through Christmas?

  1. Keep things simple. Keep your schedule simple. Keep your commitments simple. Don’t be afraid to say “no.”
  2. Balance alone-time and time with others. Don’t isolate. Isolating will only make things worse.
  3. Talk about the issues with someone who is safe. Talk about why it’s a difficult Christmas, but don’t ruminate about it. Identify the pain and work through it.
  4. Do self-nurture. Take time to de-stress. Find gifts for yourself, pamper yourself, go for a long walk, read a book and wear your pyjamas all day if you want to.
  5. Give something back. Christmas is a great time to volunteer and there are always people who need assistance; helping out at your local Church or charity car boot sale is a great place to start.
  6. Lower your expectations. In fact, try to have no expectations. Too often we have too high of expectations, and the disappointment that follows when those expectations are not met will only add to one’s pain.
  7. Ignore the media. The schmaltzy ads and poignant songs can bring back many memories. At times this may feel overwhelming and trigger some pretty intense emotions. (This is totally OK). But when things get too much, it’s a good idea to mute those telly ads, switch off the car radio and completely disconnect from social media. And if you still need an escape, consider celebrating Christmas somewhere where you won’t be reminded so much of home or the person you miss…

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Life wounds and scars

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Every situation you have encountered forms the person you are today. Sometimes these will make you feel happy, while at other times you may feel profoundly miserable. In these moments of dejection our wounds are opened.

There are a number of wounds which we are able to heal with time, but never finish scarring. These remind us that something or someone may be hurtful or painful to us. A few of these wounds are:

1. Humiliation

We are humiliated when someone attacks our personal dignity in different manners. This is a form of denigration, be it done privately or publicly, the latter being even tougher to overcome.

The consequences of feeling humiliated will directly affect one’s self-esteem, confidence toward others, and one’s hope in what they do and expect from the world. When someone humiliates you, it feels as though they have taken something away that belonged to you in the cruelest way possible.

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2. Disappointment

When someone disappoints us, it destroys all our expectations and hopes. This is a mix of shock, anger, surprise and heartache. It may come from a family member, a childhood friend, a work colleague, or simply someone we considered to be a good person, incapable of betraying certain principles, respect towards us, or towards the world in general. We may come to feel frustrated by such a disappointment, even depressed, and evidently our ability to trust in others will find itself to be reduced or possibly even eliminated.

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3. Betrayal

Generally when we have been betrayed it is because someone has first taken our trust, we have confided in their word to the very end, and we believed that all their actions were honest and sincere; but we then discover that, in reality, it was all quite the contrary.

What is our first sensation? Disbelief, then possibly anger, sadness, a feeling of having humiliated ourselves.

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No matter who left the wounds and scars on your mind and soul, always remember that there is something wrong with them, not you. Normal people do not go around destroying other human beings…

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Source: 5 Wounds of the Soul Which Heal, but Leave Scars.

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When times are hard…

hold me

When times are hard and you are blue,
My dear friend, I’ll be with you
To let you hold my hand and shed your tears,
I’ll stay by your side for many more years

When you want a shoulder to rest your head,
I’ll be there with you just like I said.
I promise to keep our friendship true,
I’ll always feel your pain when you’re feeling it too.

I’ll try to make you smile everyday,
When you are feeling down, I’ll lead the way.
I’ll make that frown upside down, I’ll try,
I’m your friend, I’ll never let you cry…

 ( by Sneha Murali )

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