How can I improve my self-esteem?


“Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself as a person. Those with high self-esteem believe that they are adequate, strong and worthy of a good life, while those with low self-esteem feel inadequate and worthless. Low self-esteem can develop in childhood and continue throughout adulthood, causing great emotional pain. Therefore, it’s important to develop a healthy, positive sense of self.

Many people base their self-esteem on external factors, such as how much money they earn, how much they weigh and whether people like and appreciate them. If one of these external variables change, self-esteem can be broadly affected. For example, if your self-esteem is based on the fact that someone else loves you, then you risk feeling extremely vulnerable and worthless if that person’s love ends. By the same token, building self-esteem is not an easy task if you have been abused or have suffered years of personal or professional failure.


Building your self-esteem and creating a positive self-awareness comes from taking an inventory of your own strengths and abilities as a human being. Being at peace with who you are and what you have to offer the world is a major part of having high self-esteem. This “inner peace” does not mean that you are unaware of your weaknesses; it merely means that you accept who you are and genuinely like the person you have become.


You should think about yourself as deserving of attention, admiration and proper maintenance. Avoid the pitfall of paying too much attention to the happiness and well-being of others and too little to your own.


If you struggle with low self-esteem, it is often helpful to connect with others with the same problem.


Beginning the inner dialogue about who you are and what you have to offer the world is an important process in building self-esteem.

Positive self talkFrom

Talking to friends, family and colleagues can also be useful in further defining who you are and what you have to offer.

But remember that the most important conversation you have about self-esteem is with yourself. Become your own personal cheerleader. Don’t be afraid to celebrate even your smallest successes. Ask yourself what you fear, and search within yourself for ways you can cope with these worries and fears.

Talk to yourself like you would go someone you love.


Learning to know and trust yourself is a long but worthwhile process. Throughout life you may need to search within yourself again and again to find your own empowerment and strength.”

From Building Self-Esteem




12 simple suggestions for building confidence and self-esteem:

1. Make three lists: one of your strengths, one of your achievements, and one of the things that you admire about yourself. Try to get a friend or relative to help you with these lists. Keep the lists in a safe place and read through them regularly.

2. Think positively about yourself. Remind yourself that, despite your problems, you are a unique, special, and valuable person, and that you deserve to feel good about yourself. Identify and challenge any negative thoughts that you may have about yourself, such as ‘I am a loser’, ‘I never do anything right’, or ‘No one really likes me’.

3. Dress in clothes that make you feel good about yourself.

4. Eat good food as part of a healthy, balanced diet.

5. Exercise regularly.

6. Ensure that you are getting enough sleep.

7. Manage your stress levels.

8. Make your living space comfortable, and attractive. Display items that remind you of your achievements or of the special times and people in your life.

9. Do more of the things that you enjoy doing. Do at least one thing that you enjoy every day, and remind yourself that you deserve it.

10. Do something nice for others. For example, strike up a conversation with the person at the till, visit a friend who is sick, or get involved with a local charity.

11. Try to spend more time with those you hold near and dear.

12. Avoid people, places, and institutions that treat you badly or that make you feel bad about yourself. This could mean being more assertive.

(By Neel Burton)



27 thoughts on “How can I improve my self-esteem?

  1. Thank you so much 😉 good post

  2. satzie says:

    It is very true that when we have low self-esteem, we do think we are worthless. And when I googled for the meaning of “Self-Esteem”, I had more clear picture of what self-esteem is. Wiki states as “Self-esteem is a term used in psychology to reflect a person’s overall emotional evaluation of his or her own worth. It is a judgment of oneself as well as an attitude toward the self. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs and emotions.”

    Your words on the “external factors” reminds me my words that I shared in my FB Wall, years back. “Success and happiness are always at risk, when they are dependent on something outside you.”

    I also like the inventory part. (i.e) writing and analyzing our strengths & weakness, and also considering asking about those from our friends & family. I often see that, such analytical writing and getting feedbacks from friends helps me in remarkable manner.

    But I dislike the idea of being happy with myself despite finding something not upto the mark. However, I would naturally be happy with it, after learning to see its optimistic place/view.

    And plenty of splendid points, good pictures and insights from your post.
    Good post Otrazhenie.

    Thank you for sharing 🙂

  3. malootka says:

    Reblogged this on truthionary.

  4. Reblogging this.

  5. Reblogged this on New Author -Carole Parkes and commented:
    I’m reblogging

  6. Reblogged this on Aurora – Institution for Meta Physics and commented:
    An amazingly superb explanation of Self-Esteem and how to improve it!! Absolutely LOVE the content .. !!! ❤

  7. ljandrie57 says:

    Well written article. Important remembers to those on the journey of healing from things in the past.

    • Otrazhenie says:

      Hope it will help those who are struggling with low self-esteem. Helping people to improve their self-esteem not only frees their lives from unnecessary pain, but also improves our society as the whole. Let’s be kind to each other 🙂

      • ljandrie57 says:

        I just put a quote on my FB about that very thing. Kindness is so important.

      • Otrazhenie says:

        And what I like about the kindness the most – the more we give it, the more we get it from others 🙂

      • ljandrie57 says:

        I saw a girl tonight at a musical give kindness to another girl who needed support to be a part of the cast. Her face radiated a gentle joy as she stayed near the other girl supporting and encouraging her. I have know this girl for years now and in her acts of kindness tonight I saw more strength in her then when she was young. It is as if in caring for others, she has opened her heart to herself as well.

      • Otrazhenie says:

        Beautiful story. You are so observant. Being kind can give us strength and can help us learn about ourselves more, as well as learn more about others. Loved your comment 🙂

  8. So informative and nurturing. As are other posts. Thank you!

  9. girlwiththehankie says:

    I will reblog this. Nice post!!worth reading.:-)

  10. […] Heal your shame and raise your self-esteem. […]

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