Treat yourself like an ANGEL

abstract angelic art blast

Photo by Sebastian Voortman on Pexels.com

As Seth Gillihan points out many of us struggle with a general negative feeling about ourselves. Maybe you think awful things about yourself—that you’re stupid, disgusting, unlovable, or worthless. Perhaps you’re constantly on your own case about not doing enough, or “messing up” everything you try. Or maybe it’s hard to find words for your sense of inadequacy, and while you don’t believe you’re bad, you have a chronic sense of not being happy with yourself.

It’s hard to feel at ease when you have a pervasive feeling that, in some fundamental way, you’re not OK. Self-neglect can be more subtle but similarly damaging. We might be very considerate toward everyone in our lives except for the person who inhabits our own skin.

Try these four strategies to show yourself some care:

  • Take the time to plan your day in a thoughtful way.
  • Prepare a nice lunch for yourself.
  • Carefully consider your own needs and how you can meet them.
  • Surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you.

It’s very difficult to force ourselves to feel a certain way about who we are. Changing unhelpful thoughts is useful to some extent, especially if those thoughts are overly harsh and simply not true. Try replacing any negative self-talk with a positive framework. As an example, try treating yourself like an ANGEL:

A – Awesome
N – Nice
G – Goodhearted
E – Exceptional
L – Loveable idiot (reserved for very special occasions only 😜).

While ‘loveable idiot’ term was coined by Alain de Botton in the context of interpersonal relationships, I think it applies very well to  our relationship with ourselves and helps us to learn to treat ourselves with laughter rather than criticism…

Not all angels reside in heaven.
Some walk the earth.
Just like you…

THE END

Adapted from Psychology Today

Take a Look in the Mirror and repeat to yourself…

Noch

I’m a very special person,
 There’s no-one else like me.
 If you searched the whole world over,
 My twin you’d never see.

My looks, my thoughts, my feelings,
 Are mine and mine alone.
 They often make me happy,
 But sometimes make me moan.

I’m a very special person,
 And I’m sure that you’d agree
 If everyone was perfect
 How boring life would be.

                                           (Author unknown)

Be

THE END

 Photo: ‘What’s behind Malevich’s square’ by Sergey K.

How can I improve my self-esteem?

How Can I Improve My Self-Esteem?From http://teenshealth.org/

“Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself as a person. Those with high self-esteem believe that they are adequate, strong and worthy of a good life, while those with low self-esteem feel inadequate and worthless. Low self-esteem can develop in childhood and continue throughout adulthood, causing great emotional pain. Therefore, it’s important to develop a healthy, positive sense of self.

From http://www.erepublik.com

Many people base their self-esteem on external factors, such as how much money they earn, how much they weigh and whether people like and appreciate them. If one of these external variables change, self-esteem can be broadly affected. For example, if your self-esteem is based on the fact that someone else loves you, then you risk feeling extremely vulnerable and worthless if that person’s love ends. By the same token, building self-esteem is not an easy task if you have been abused or have suffered years of personal or professional failure.

From http://reikouken.blogspot.co.nz

Building your self-esteem and creating a positive self-awareness comes from taking an inventory of your own strengths and abilities as a human being. Being at peace with who you are and what you have to offer the world is a major part of having high self-esteem. This “inner peace” does not mean that you are unaware of your weaknesses; it merely means that you accept who you are and genuinely like the person you have become.

From http://www.whisperoftheheart.net

You should think about yourself as deserving of attention, admiration and proper maintenance. Avoid the pitfall of paying too much attention to the happiness and well-being of others and too little to your own.

From http://imgfave.com/

If you struggle with low self-esteem, it is often helpful to connect with others with the same problem.


From http://www.self-esteem-experts.com

Beginning the inner dialogue about who you are and what you have to offer the world is an important process in building self-esteem.

Positive self talkFrom http://www.pinterest.com/

Talking to friends, family and colleagues can also be useful in further defining who you are and what you have to offer.

From http://www.wikihow.com

 But remember that the most important conversation you have about self-esteem is with yourself. Become your own personal cheerleader. Don’t be afraid to celebrate even your smallest successes. Ask yourself what you fear, and search within yourself for ways you can cope with these worries and fears.

Talk to yourself like you would go someone you love.

From http://www.pinterest.com

Learning to know and trust yourself is a long but worthwhile process. Throughout life you may need to search within yourself again and again to find your own empowerment and strength.”

From Building Self-Esteem

BE HAPPY WITH THE PERSON YOU ARE!!!


From http://www.sodahead.com

 

12 simple suggestions for building confidence and self-esteem:

1. Make three lists: one of your strengths, one of your achievements, and one of the things that you admire about yourself. Try to get a friend or relative to help you with these lists. Keep the lists in a safe place and read through them regularly.

2. Think positively about yourself. Remind yourself that, despite your problems, you are a unique, special, and valuable person, and that you deserve to feel good about yourself. Identify and challenge any negative thoughts that you may have about yourself, such as ‘I am a loser’, ‘I never do anything right’, or ‘No one really likes me’.

3. Dress in clothes that make you feel good about yourself.

4. Eat good food as part of a healthy, balanced diet.

5. Exercise regularly.

6. Ensure that you are getting enough sleep.

7. Manage your stress levels.

8. Make your living space comfortable, and attractive. Display items that remind you of your achievements or of the special times and people in your life.

9. Do more of the things that you enjoy doing. Do at least one thing that you enjoy every day, and remind yourself that you deserve it.

10. Do something nice for others. For example, strike up a conversation with the person at the till, visit a friend who is sick, or get involved with a local charity.

11. Try to spend more time with those you hold near and dear.

12. Avoid people, places, and institutions that treat you badly or that make you feel bad about yourself. This could mean being more assertive.

(By Neel Burton)

 THE END

 

What story are you telling yourself?

Self Portrait Hippie Peace Freaks
From Hippie Peace Freaks

“We tell ourselves stories every day. This is a story. A story of how we take the events of our lives and turn them into memories. And of how we can remake those memories by telling new stories to change our lives.

Every story is built on themes and although there can be an infinite number of stories there are a limited number of themes. The stories we tell ourselves about who we are and what our lives are about are just so. We can be the hero, antagonist or victim. Our lives can be heroic or tragic, fulfilling or empty, happy or sad. It all depends on the story we write and the stage on which we perform.

Just as a stage contains props to support a play, so do we select from life’s myriad events the bits and pieces of evidence we use to support our life stories. If ours’ is a story of popularity, we remember only what supports that story. Conversely, if our story is that of rejection we’ll only remember the looks, remarks and behavior that make us feel rejected. We store these as memories and replay them whenever we want to relive or convince ourselves that the story is true.

Most of the time we don’t even realize how our life story determines what we’ll remember. Or how we force the events in our life to conform to that story….

Our memories are amendable and adjustable to the stories we tell ourselves. When we recall a memory we can subtly alter and update it to our story so that when the brain stores it again, it is no longer the memory it once was. That means if our memories are painful or unpleasant we can alter them simply by telling a different story when they arise. It also means that if we don’t like the story we’ve been telling, we cannot only change it but the memories that support it as well.

Memories are not just images that we replay in our minds but the emotions we bring forth as well. So if we can alter our memories we can also change our feelings.”

From Memory

memories_will_never_fade_away__by_franzeyfragility
From Memories

* * *

What story are you telling yourself?