“Just living is not enough. One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.”
Hans Christian Andersen (1805-1875)
Hans Christian Andersen (1805-1875)
Sing little bird in your golden cage
Do you sing cause your happy, or sing out of rage.
Flutter around singing your songs,
Telling the story of sorrows and wrongs.
What would you do if you were set free
Would you cower in a corner, or instantly flee,
How long have you been in your prison alone
How long has the golden cage been your home?
The happiness your song brings to those who hear,
Hides all the sadness your breast has no cheer.
Oh beautiful song bird, my heart bleeds for you
Were I to release you what would you do?
Inside of your prison you flutter around
Singing your songs and making your sounds
Your prison is golden, your prison a stage,
No matter how beautiful it’s still a cage.
In the morning you’ll fly, be free, on your own,
And I pray that from happiness you’ll sing your songs.
No birds should be caged, all songs should be free.
Go live out your life singing in the trees.
Poem by Juan Olivarez
Image from Little Birdie and Golden Cage
I like this quote by Ram Dass, though not all people I see as trees. Some are more like bushes to me, others – tumbleweeds that roll wherever wind blows them… with neither roots, nor attachments in life…
Tomas and Sabina from ‘The Unbearable Lightness of Being’ look like such tumbleweeds to me… so light, so fun and always on the run to flee any attachments and stay free… A very heavy burden for demisexual Tereza who can’t separate sexual attraction and lust from love and emotional connection…
This ”lightness of being’ philosophy however is not new… For centuries it was practiced by the rich and powerful. Only they could afford it, often at the expense of common people as reflected in one of the Russian proverb from the “good old days”: “Do not promote me to Corporal, but do not touch my wife”…
In modern Western societies the ‘lightness of being’ philosophy of casual relationships is becoming more common. It is often associated with earlier stages in life, with exploring life before making long-term choices and settling in.
While such behaviour is no longer considered ‘abnormal’ as it does not violate norms of the modern Western society, it can cause the person distress if ‘avoidant’ style of attachments starts dominating person’s life, preventing that person from forming deep meaningful relationships, having family and children.
According to Darlene Lancer, “around 25 percent of the population has avoidant attachment style. People with avoidant attachment style avoid closeness and value their independence and self-sufficiency more than intimacy. They can enjoy closeness — to a limit. In relationships, they act self-sufficient and self-reliant and aren’t comfortable sharing feelings. They protect their freedom and delay commitment. Once committed, they create mental distance with ongoing dissatisfaction about their relationship, focusing on their partner’s minor flaws or reminiscing about their single days or another idealised relationship…
Although most people don’t change their attachment style, it can be altered to be more or less secure depending upon experiences and conscious effort. To change your style to be more secure, seek relationships with others who are capable of a secure attachment. You can easily spot them as they radiate warmth. Loving comes naturally to them. They accept people’s minor shortcomings and treat them with love and respect. They don’t play games or manipulate but are direct and able to openly and assertively share their needs and feelings.”
You can also try the following:
Attachment style affects all aspects of the relationship, including sex life. Resolve all barriers to intimacy and don’t let the ‘lightness of being’ to become unbearable…
My chains may be metaphoric
I am bound nonetheless
a prisoner of my own mind
alone, defeated, hopeless…
I yearn to leave these chains behind
I dream of breaking free
How I just want to live again
And break these chains that bind me…
The world is how you see it
You’re free to choose your sight
To look for love and goodness
Or dim your inner light.
The world is how you speak it
You’re free to make your choice
To tell your braver story
Or punish with your voice.
The world is how you feel it
You’re free to sense your tribe
Tune in to your emotions
Or disconnect your vibe.
The world is how you dance it
You’re free to move your way
To let your passion guide you
Or let your fear play.
By Irina Latis
“No one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone. That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it…”
Credits: Image from Psychology Today
“You are free to choose, but…
you are not free from the consequence of your choice….”
Photo from www.fiordland.org.nz
Are not available
To the dreamers,
To the singers.
In some lands
And cold steel
But the dream
Will come back,
And the song
Russia: “Speak out for Freedom” – show of solidarity against repression
Amnesty International has launched a Week of Action, from 6 to 12 October 2014, to show solidarity with independent voices in Russia who speak out against the pernicious creep of repression in the country.
To mark the start of the Week of Action Amnesty International is publishing a new briefing, Violation of the right to freedom of expression, association and assembly in Russia, which focuses on the following areas of concern:
The week of action coincides with the 8th anniversary of the murder of Russian investigative journalist Anna Politkovskaya, one of the all-time staunchest critics of the Kremlin and once a prominent free voice of the Russian media.
“Meaning in life is arbitrary. Why ruin the universe with rigidity?
Why do we make the choices we do? After all, we do not have unlimited freedom to do things. We find ourselves constrained by our gender, our race, our economic circumstances, our personalities that were shaped both by genetics and the random processes of life. Furthermore, we find that other people have their own ideas of what we should be doing, and they constrain us still further.
A person born into one culture will have entirely different options than one born into another. They may both lead valuable lives, but they will most certainly differ in many respects. The meaning that they find will come from different palettes. We cannot say that one person’s life is more valuable than another’s.
Of all the people who have lived, have any of them been truly “better” than another? We see in their lives only the exercise of preferences, not differences of inherent meaning.
All meaning in life is arbitrary. It is not tied to god, family, or self unless we define it as such. Nothing in life gives us meaning in and of itself. It is we who assign meaning to objects and relationships. We all try to make the structure of our meaning pretty, but in the end, there is no escape from the feeling that it is all arbitrary…”
What choices do you have?
What are you hoping for?
Have you ever seen that image of Dale Irby, a retired physical education teacher from Dallas (Texas) who has sported the same outfit in every yearbook photo for forty years? It started out back in 1973, then his wife dared him to do it again the next year…
I absolutely adore that image. I find the simplicity of Dale’s outfit so beautiful. It reminds me so much my dear husband whose outfit hardly ever changed over the almost 20 years I knew him. It reflects so well the philosophy of minimalism and simplicity we are trying to instill in our children. Unnecessary possessions are unnecessary burdens. There is great freedom in simplicity of living.
Minimalism in my view is not about owning nothing, but about nothing owning us. It is about removing unnecessary distractions to allow us to focus on what really matters. It is about just being yourself. If someone does not appreciate our true beings, why spending money on the things we don’t need just to impress them?
The world we live in is not friendly to the pursuit of minimalism. Its tendencies and relentless advertising campaigns call us to acquire more, better, faster, trendier and newer. The journey of finding simplicity requires consistent inspiration.
Do you like simplicity in your life?
What is your source for inspiration?