DO’s and DON’Ts of losing a job

I published this post 5 years ago and decided to reblog it today as so many people around the world are losing their jobs and struggling financially now. Do not despair – there are always options out there. Give yourself the time and space to identify them, rethink your priorities and refocus on the positive aspects of your life. Take care and stay well.

Otrazhenie

Have you ever lost your job or do you know someone who lost their job?

I was in my teens when my dad lost his job. He was not fired, he was not made redundant. Simply the state research institute he was working in vanished one day after perestroika, leaving over 2,000 employees unemployed with no redundancy payments, no unemployment benefits, no support. Nothing, absolutely nothing at all…

There were hardly any other jobs around at that time. Factories were closing one after another. Those who managed somehow to keep their jobs were often forced to take unpaid leave for 2-3 days a week or were not paid at all for months and months and months… They kept getting monthly payslips without pay.

“We’ll be OK”, my dad said, shrugging his shoulders and putting away his business suit, “I’ll find some work”.

Dad started his career  in one of the deepest…

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What daughters need from dads…

Princess1

When fathers treat their daughters well, this relationship becomes one of the most cherished for their daughters. It often shapes their daughter’s lives, making them more resilient, giving them permanent armour for the rest of their lives. A father holds the keys to his daughter’s feminine identity, her sense of self-worth, and her future relationships.

Girls need fathers to make them feel like a princess: cared about, loved, safe and secure. To feel very special. Feeling like a princess is not about looking super-beautiful, being showered in expensive gifts, being spoilt, avoiding doing chores around the house, being rude and disrespectful to others. It is more about how girls feel inside: their self-esteem, self-acceptance, self-love.

From infancy, girls draw conclusions about what men are like from the men in their life. If there is a father (or a male in her life who takes a father role), that man becomes her guidepost for what to expect of men.

Spend quality time with your daughter. Do things she enjoys doing. Play with her. Give her hugs and share laughs.

Celebrate her mind. Read to your little girl. Be interested in what she is learning in school. Pay attention to her interests and be sincerely curious to learn what she knows about them. Share interesting things about your work and your hobbies with her.

Go to her events whether it is sport, dancing or musical theatre. She needs you there as a witness to her talents, her efforts, and her achievements.

Tell her she’s beautiful and the most precious gift in your life. Look at her with admiration. This will be one of the building blocks for her self-esteem.

Treat all women the way you want your daughter to be treated someday. Take care with what you say about women and never ever tell or laugh at a sexist joke. Your daughter is listening. Your attitude about women is part of the attitude she is developing about herself.

Treat her the way you want her future partner to treat her. The way you interact with your daughter is what she becomes used to when relating to a man. Treat her with respect, dignity, care and affection and she will expect to be treated that way by other men in her life.

Be the kind of man you want your daughter to marry one day. Make no mistake; you are the model for manhood your daughter is likely to look for when she starts to date. If you want her to find a man who is caring, faithful, honest and hardworking, who knows how to have fun, who uses money wisely and who doesn’t abuse people, drugs, or alcohol, then you need to be that kind of man. It is not what you say that counts, but what you do.

And then no matter what obstacles she will encounter in her life, the bullies she will meet, the nasty things she will be told, she won’t care because she will know deep in her heart that she is a very special, intelligent and beautiful person no matter what.

Girl

Behind every happy daughter is a truly amazing dad!

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Credits:

Lighthouse

lighthouse 1Image  from imanikingblog.com

She stands high upon the bluff
a silhouette of one
lonely on the shore
It’s what she’s always done.

She is a lonely beacon
that beckons all to come
unnoticed by the multitudes
but cared about by some.

An angel to the sailors
on a bleak and stormy night,
the savior to the ships at sea
on a foggy night…

Visit the Reluctant Poet blog to read this wonderful poem written by Charles Robert Lindholm and always keep your light shining…

The Reluctant Poet

THE LOVER OF THE LIGHT - ON THE BLUFF 60 PERCENT
By Charles Robert Lindholm

She stands high upon the bluff

a silhouette of one

lonely on the shore

It’s what she’s always done

She is a lonely beacon

that beckons all to come

unnoticed by the multitudes

but cared about by some

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Free your mind from worries, negative thoughts and nonstop thinking

Peace

Try to calm your mind when you feel agitated. Mentally, take a step back and watch your mind, as if looking at someone else’s mind.Try to watch your thoughts during the day, as if they are not yours, without being sucked into them. Become conscious of the fact that you are watching your thoughts.

Enjoy your inner peace.

THE END

From Look within you

What are your choices, compromises and sacrifices?

“Life is like a blanket too short. You pull it up and your toes rebel, you yank it down and shivers meander about your shoulder; but cheerful folks manage to draw their knees up and pass a very comfortable night.”

Marion Howard (1805-1875)

“The very concept of having it all flies in the face of the basic laws of economics and common sense. As Sharon Poczter, professor of economics at Cornell, explains, “The antiquated rhetoric of ‘having it all’ disregards the basis of every economic relationship: the idea of trade-offs. All of us are dealing with the constrained optimization that is life, attempting to maximize our utility based on parameters like career, kids, relationships, etc., doing our best to allocate the resource of time. Due to the scarcity of this resource, therefore, none of us can ‘have it all’…”

“Having it all is best regarded as a myth…. Each of us makes choices constantly between work and family, exercising and relaxing, making time for others and taking time for ourselves. Being a parent means making adjustments, compromises, and sacrifices every day…”

From ‘Lean In’ by Sheryl Sandberg

Family blance juggle

What are your choices, compromises and sacrifices?

ENDS

Image 1: by Eugeny (Ef) Kozhevnikov
I
mage 2: A balanced family