Counselling | Otrazhenie

Santa’s making his list of who’s been naughty and who’s been nice this year. Will you find you or your partner on the naughty or the nice list? Check out OneLove Foundation’s naughty and nice lists to find out!

The Nice List

1. You accept and love your partner for who they are, including their quirky qualities!

2. You don’t make jokes at your partner’s expense and you can have constructive conversations if something is bothering you in the relationship.

3. You trust your partner and don’t get suspicious of what they’re doing when you’re not around.

4. You and your partner make relationship decisions together with neither person feeling like they have no say.

5. Your relationship doesn’t feel like an emotional roller coaster. You keep your cool when you argue, drink, or get upset.

6. You and your partner are both happy with the amount of time you spend together and the amount of time you spent apart. You have your own life outside of your relationship and can balance a love life and a personal life.

7. If there’s a problem in the relationship, you and your partner can have a constructive conversation about it without fear of retaliation.

8. Your friends and family like your partner and your partner encourages you to maintain healthy relationships with these very important people in your life.

9. Your partner respects your decisions. They don’t tell you or make subtle hints about what you can do, what to eat or wear, and who you should talk to or be friends with.

10. You know your relationship is making you a better, happier person. You have no doubts about whether or not it’s right for you.

The Naughty List

1. Your partner tries to hide or change you instead of accepting you for who you really are. Your partner makes you feel like you need to change to keep them satisfied.

2. Your partner nitpicks and criticizes you more than you’d like.

3. Your partner is always wondering or worrying about what you’re doing when you’re not together.

4. Your partner is the one calling all the shots and you feel like you need to follow along to keep the peace.

5. Your partner wants all of your time, but you want a little more time to yourself. You don’t bother talking to them about it because you know they will overreact or, if you do bring it up, they lash out at you or make you feel guilty for wanting some time apart.

6. Your partner makes you feel responsible for their happiness or success.

7. Your partner makes you wonder if you’re the problem in the relationship and they blame you for everything.

8. Your partner doesn’t get along with your friends and family.

9. Your partner tries to control what you do, who you spend time with, and who you talk to. They’ll tell you an outfit doesn’t look good so you change, ask you not to talk to someone they perceive as a “threat,” or tell you what parties you can go to.

10. Your partner is belligerent and out of control when they drink.

If you find yourself thinking, “that’s my relationship” after reading this naughty list, start the New Year by addressing this and seek professional help if needed.

Credit: OneLove Foundation

“The course of true love never did run smooth.”

( William Shakespeare, 1564-1616 )

( Photo by epsilon-delta )

As Chuck Palahniuk once said, “It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.”

It is time to break that pattern, it is time to get free from its chains. Try focusing on the sweet side to ease the pain.

Easier to say then to do you might say… Well, may be, the following 6 tips from When Love Bugs You might help?

1. Talk about your marriage. This seems like an obvious tip on how to make a relationship last, but it’s surprisingly difficult to talk about your relationship! Talking about your relationship can make it better – even if you don’t solve your problems immediately. Just talking about your marriage brings you closer together. Or, it can help you realize that you may not want to save your marriage after all.

2. Recognize when you’re pulling away emotionally and physically. Recognize when you’re pulling away and do the exact opposite. So, instead of retreating to your shell, tell your partner why you’re retreating. No blame or guilt trips: just honesty.

3. Be honest with your partner about how to make your relationship last. Decide together if marriage counseling will help your relationship last a long time. Couples therapy is an effective way of building better relationships if both partners are committed. One partner can’t save a marriage alone. When you’re in the thick of things, you can’t see if you or your partner is being unreasonable (usually, it’s a little of both). An objective third party — a marriage or couples counselor — can help you make your marriage work by bridging communication gaps and helping you see your marriage clearly.

4. Figure out what you need from your relationship. To build a better marriage, each partner needs to be clear about their hopes and expectations.

5. Decide what you can give to your relationship. Perhaps the best tip on making a relationship last is about what you can give to your marriage (not necessarily what you can get). A secret of happy couples is to be clear about your needs, but it’s equally or perhaps more important to figure out where you’re dropping the ball. How can you build a better marriage by improving yourself?

6. Learn how to argue in healthy ways. Building a better relationship with your spouse means you need to stop blaming, criticizing, or belittling your partner. Regardless of how your husband or wife treats you, you need to communicate with love and respect. You can’t change your partner, but you can change how you respond to her or him. As Ann Landers once said, “All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest. Good arguments are healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principle of equal partnership.”

And no matter how angry we are, lets never stop being caring.

From Funi Pics