Is FUN=RUN and FREE=FLEE?

Trees

I like this quote by Ram Dass, though not all people I see as trees. Some are more like bushes to me, others – tumbleweeds that roll wherever wind blows them… with neither roots, nor attachments in life…

Tomas and Sabina from ‘The Unbearable Lightness of Being’ look like such tumbleweeds to me… so light, so fun and always on the run to flee any attachments and stay free… A very heavy burden for demisexual Tereza who can’t separate sexual attraction and lust  from love and emotional connection…

This ”lightness of being’ philosophy however is not new… For centuries it was practiced by the rich and powerful. Only they could afford it, often at the expense of common people as reflected in one of the Russian proverb from the “good old days”: “Do not promote me to Corporal, but do not touch my wife”…

In modern Western societies the ‘lightness of being’ philosophy of casual relationships is becoming more common. It is often associated with earlier stages in life, with exploring life before making long-term choices and settling in.

While such behaviour is no longer considered ‘abnormal’ as it does not violate norms of the modern Western society, it can cause the person distress if ‘avoidant’ style of attachments starts dominating person’s life, preventing that person from forming deep meaningful relationships, having family and children.

According to Darlene Lancer, “around 25 percent of the population has avoidant attachment style. People with avoidant attachment style avoid closeness and value their independence and self-sufficiency more than intimacy. They can enjoy closeness — to a limit. In relationships, they act self-sufficient and self-reliant and aren’t comfortable sharing feelings. They protect their freedom and delay commitment. Once committed, they create mental distance with ongoing dissatisfaction about their relationship, focusing on their partner’s minor flaws or reminiscing about their single days or another idealised relationship…

Although most people don’t change their attachment style, it can be altered to be more or less secure depending upon experiences and conscious effort. To change your style to be more secure, seek relationships with others who are capable of a secure attachment. You can easily spot them as they radiate warmth. Loving comes naturally to them. They accept people’s minor shortcomings and treat them with love and respect. They don’t play games or manipulate but are direct and able to openly and assertively share their needs and feelings.”

You can also try the following:

Attachment style affects all aspects of the relationship, including sex life. Resolve all barriers to intimacy and don’t let the ‘lightness of being’ to become unbearable…

THE END

References:

When we get old…

Age.jpg
“Around the corner, I met Anne Braveman, seventy-nine, and Rita Kahn, eighty-six, who told me they had gone to the movies the week before. It wasn’t some official, prearranged group outing. It was just two friends who decided they wanted to go see The King’s Speech on a Thursday night… A nursing assistant had to agree to join them. Braveman was paralyzed from the waist down due to multiple sclerosis and got around by motorized wheelchair; Kahn was prone to falls and needed a walker. They had to pay the $15 fare for a wheelchair-accessible vehicle to take them. But it was possible for them to go. They were looking forward to watching Sex and the City on DVD next.

“Have you read Fifty Shades of Grey yet?” Kahn asked me, impishly.

I allowed, modestly, that I had not.

“I had never heard of chains and that stuff,” she said, marvelling. Had I? she wanted to know.

I really didn’t want to answer that…”

(from Being Mortal by Atul Gawande)

We do not stop having fun when we get old.
We get old when we stop having fun…

THE END

Credits: Image from searchgi.com

Never stop having funnnnn…

b9067-funny_old_people_38

There are two types of people
You’ll find in this world;
Those that grow young,
And those that grow old.
The old growing type,
Are not very much fun,
They become quite inactive,
Avoiding hot sun.
They complain of misfortunes
Like bad backs and poor stocks,
And soon they need help
With their food and their socks.
But the young growing type
Are a different affair,
They grow ever more fun,
Despite sticks and grey hair.
No longer tied down
To their work every day,
They see their retirement
As a great time to play.
They jet off on adventures,
And plan fun-filled days,
And never become
At all set in their ways.

By PookyH

Play
Life is too short to be normal.
Stay weird and never stop having funnnn….

😜

THE END

Credits:

Image 1 from http://pattilousquilts.blogspot.co.nz

Are you really happy or just comfortable?

From http://birdeemag.com

How very simple life would be
If only there were two of me
A Restless Me to drift and roam
A Quiet Me to stay at home.

A Searching One to find his fill
Of varied skies and newfound thrill
While sane and homely things are done
By the domestic Other One. 

And that’s just where the trouble lies;
There is a Restless Me that cries
For chancy risks and changing scene,
For arctic blue and tropic green,

For deserts with their mystic spell,
For lusty fun and raising Hell
But shackled to that Restless Me
My Other Self rebelliously

Resists the frantic urge to move.
It seeks the old familiar groove
That habits make. It finds content
With hearth and home dear prisonment,

With candlelight and well loved books
And treasured loot in dusty nooks,
With puttering and garden things
And dreaming while a cricket sings

And all the while the Restless One
Insists on more exciting fun
It wants to go with every tide,
No matter where – just for the ride.

Like yowling cats the two selves brawl
Until I have no peace at all.
One eye turns to the forward track,
The other eye looks sadly back,

I’m getting wall-eyed from the strain,
(It’s tough to have an idle brain)
But One says “Stay” and One says “Go”
And One says “Yes,” and One says “No,”

And One Self wants a home and wife
And One Self craves the drifter’s life.
The Restless Fellow always wins
I wish my folks had made me twins.

( by Don Blanding )

 


From http://quotespictures.net/

Are you really happy or just comfortable?

 

THE END