The heart of a human being is no different from the soul of heaven and earth. In your practice always keep in your thoughts the interaction of heaven and earth, water and fire, yin and yang.
So often in the rush of life we become hard as rock, forgetting the softness of water… Don’t forget to be soft like water to get the right balance and harmony on life….
I love following Everyday Hero on LinkedIn and reading stories of amazing people – people like all of us. We all can be heroes: in our homes, our communities, and our lives… Lets share our stories to make this world a better place and give us all more reasons to smile and laugh… To get the ball rolling, I’m sharing one of mine…
Saving us all from the 3rd world war
This story happened almost twenty years ago when my three children were under the age of four. Me and my friend needed some papers with official stamps. So off to the Russian Embassy we went. We entered the waiting room and my heart sank. There was a huge crowd of people there and nothing to keep my wild little boys entertained. We joined the queue, my children started squealing. Here the door opened and the consul came out growling.
“Whose are those kids,” he asked looking at my friend.
“They are not mine… Mine are at home..” – she said
“At home…. With whom?”
‘With my husband of course’
‘How many of them?”
‘Three boys all aged under four’
“Alone, with your man…. How did you dare… No Russian man will ever survive there…”
“Don’t worry…. My man is German’, responded my friend.
“German!” shrieked the consul. He just could not comprehend. “That’s even worse! If he won’t survive, I’ll be blamed of course…. All Russia will be blamed for your kids under four. That will surely start the third world war! You go first,” – he said to my friend and took her in his office with all her papers to stamp.
My kids got much noisier from all the boredom. The consul came back and went straight towards them.
“So whose are these kids?”
“They are mine,” I said.
“You go next… Or I won’t survive them.”
A few minutes later with all the papers and stamps, we left the embassy with a sense of achievement and a huge relief that we saved the world from the 3rd world war grief.
“When you are busy with living your life, age can never find you to make her mark”Debasish Mridha
You know that saying “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks?” That saying has perpetuated a myth that the old dogs’ brain has hardened in ways that make him unable to learn anything new. For many decades the scientific community thought this to be true — of animals and people alike. But, as science has progressed, we’ve found that simply isn’t reality.
Modern neuroscience has proven that our brains are more malleable than we could have ever imagined—well into later stages of life. We can teach an old dog new tricks!
Still, many of us get down when we face the difficulties of learning new skills or mastering old ones. We blame the rapidly evolving technology environment, or job competition, or lagging energy levels for our failings. But we don’t need to. All we need to do is adopt a growth mindset and we can learn and grow as we please.
The Growth Mindset
The idea of a growth mindset came from the famous Stanford researcher, Carol Dweck. Dweck and her team stumbled upon the phenomenon when observing students and their various responses to failure. Why was it, they wondered, that some students could bounce back from a setback like nothing happened, while others sulked and fumed when obstacles fell in their way?
It wasn’t the magnitude of the setback, nor the consequences of the setbacks that determined the student’s responding behaviors—rather, it was their mindsets. Some students had a fixed mindset while others had a growth mindset. The ones with a fixed mindset believed that capabilities are innate and were sure that no matter how hard they tried, they wouldn’t be able to do anything about their failures. The growth mindset kids believed that they could eventually learn to do anything if they put in effort and practice.
How to Get Your Own Growth Mindset
If you don’t already have a growth mindset, there is good news– developing one isn’t too hard! The real struggle comes down to alleviating the shame and embarrassment we feel around failure and set-backs.
1. First, we should acknowledge our set-backs or unfavorable circumstances. We don’t want to call them failures, though. We want to call them learning opportunities. Marvel at the processes more than the results.
2. Now we want to acknowledge any shame that might accompany those learning opportunities. This is a key step because it alleviates lingering embarrassment.
3. Next, laugh it off! You can either laugh it off by yourself or with others. We recommend finding others who are non-judgmental and supportive who you can laugh with. This helps normalise laughing at your setbacks and helps give you perspective.
4. View your setback as an opportunity. At least, it’s a great story to tell! At most, it’s an opportunity to learn where you can improve.
5. Reflect. If your setback took place in a business setting, make sure to take note of it so you can avoid it in the future!
6. Lastly, and most importantly, stay curious. Never lose your sense of wonder for the world. Never stop wanting to know more…
Whenever you encounter a new challenge, respond to your fixed mindset thoughts with growth mindset and take the growth mindset action!
If a man’s neither friend nor foe
Just another so-and-so
If you can’t get past his shell
Whether for good or for bad –
Take him up a high mount with you
Not letting him slip away
Now he’s stuck in a bind with you
Now you’ll see who he is –
If the fellow up there ain’t there
If he’s bitter and tears his hair
If he falls on the ice and feels
He’d rather drop you than freeze –
Then this can’t be the man for you
Don’t waste words on him but shoo
Just another one of the throng
Not a man for a song –
If he kept his rage in a shell
As he pulled through without a sound
Grabbed out for your hand when you fell
May have groaned but he held!
If he marched through with you to fight
To a summit which stole his might
It means you’ve found a friend
You can keep to the end…
- Song by Vladimir Vysotsky (1938-1980)
- Translation by David Vinnikov
- Image from me.me
In the midst of hate, I found there was,
within me, an invincible love.
In the midst of tears, I found there was,
within me, an invincible smile.
In the midst of chaos, I found there was,
within me, an invincible calm.
I realized, through it all, that…
In the midst of winter, I found there was,
within me, an invincible summer.
And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.
Never lose that invincible
love and smile…
“Just living is not enough. One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.”
Hans Christian Andersen (1805-1875)
Through broken glass and faded dreams,
I find a place where I can scream,
This pain is huge and takes me over,
I cannot smell the scent of clover,
I kneel down and count my blessings,
For sometimes life is distressing,
I make my way through each raw minute,
Feeling blessed that I’m still in it,
This life is hard but I go on,
It’s my soul journey to walk upon,
I look out from my mind’s eye,
Never questioning or asking why,
I know that whatever happens to me,
Is to teach and set me free,
A life taken for granted is not good cause,
Take a breath to think and pause,
I am strong and intelligent,
I know I live with good intent,
The shackles that I once wore,
Can’t contain me anymore,
I am free and fly my wings,
Appreciating every thing,
Being true to who I am,
Upon my bravery I do stand.
“Never lose hope. Storms make people stronger and never last forever.”
Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart