Is YOUR VOICE heard and respected at home?

Marriage

“My wife sent me to the supermarket to buy a fabric softener. Well, actually I was told to take a photo of the shelf of softeners and send it over: apparently, I am not qualified to choose which one to buy. So I came up to the shelf and started taking photos. Suddenly a man nearby pointed at me with his phone and said, “I can send you my photos of all the softeners here. With WhatsApp. I have a full gallery. Each bottle is a close-up from both sides.” I replied, ”No, thanks. I was just told to send the full shelf without close-ups.“ ”Clear. Lucky man…” I laughed, “Something like that, but thanks for your offer anyway. Great idea with WhatsApp.” The man smiled and said, “Sure, but the idea is not mine. See that man taking photos of detergents? He sent the photos to me. And my photo session of baby food starts now. Have fun!”

From 15 Overheard Life Stories Charged With Optimism

 

Boss.png
It is very well known that men generally do not like to ‘sweat the small stuff’. Therefore they are often happy to leave routine domestic decision-making to women and are often putting a great deal of their energy into placating the women in their lives in order to keep their world manageable.

Celia Lashlie however identified some areas of concern in her book “He’ll be OK”:

“The principal told me again and again that when two parents come in for a chat because their boy’s in trouble, it’s the norm for the mother to do all the talking. The principal looks towards the father and it’s obvious he has something to say, an opinion to offer, but she won’t shut up long enough for him to actually say it…. I thought it might be an overly prejudiced view, so decided to investigate a little further. The opportunity to do so arose when I found myself in front of a group of fathers.

‘Listen guys, I just want to check something out with you. Apparently when you and your wife are in the principal’s office because your son’s in a spot of bother and you’ve been called to the school, you’re really quiet, you just don’t talk.’

‘No,’ came the reply from one man.

‘Why not?’

‘Because I’ll get it wrong.’

Somewhat naively, I replied, ‘No, you can’t get it wrong, he’s your boy.’

‘Oh no,’ he said, looking straight at me, a now-familiar look of resignation on his face, ‘I’ll get it wrong… and I’ll get a pull-through when I get home.’

As he said this, several heads in the room nodded, the men seeming to relish the fact that someone had identified a situation with which they were all very familiar…

After a bit more discussion on this topic with the men, I headed back to talk to their wives and partners and, as I did so, I found myself thinking that the views expressed by the men were probably a little unfair and would offend the women I was about to talk to. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

‘The guys have just told me that when they’re in the principal’s office with you, they don’t talk because they’ll get it wrong.’

One woman didn’t even hesitate; she looked straight at me and without the slightest hint of the embarrassment I was expecting, she said, ‘He will.’

‘And he reckons he’ll get a pull-through when he gets home?’

‘I won’t wait that long – I’ll get him in the car.’

There seemed to be universal agreement with her comments and the conversation continued with one woman saying, ‘I take him to parent-teacher evenings, but he just won’t talk.’ By this time I was thinking, Yes, and I think I’m beginning to see why, so I said, ‘Well, there’s one possible solution.’

‘What’s that?’

‘You could send him by himself, then he’s going to have to talk.

At that moment the entire group of intelligent, articulate middle-class women looked as if I’d just asked them to eat a snake. (No power and control issues here, I thought to myself!)”…

Man-with-mouth-taped-shut.jpg


Is YOUR VOICE heard and respected at home?

THE END

Credits:

Rediscovering yourself

StrangerWe have a long weekend this week which I’m absolutely dreading. I used to love long weekends. They were full of fun, laughter and adventures with the kids…. But now they are just a reminder of the forthcoming empty nest and loneliness…

In a few months we’ll have just one kid left in this nest out of three, and in just a few years none at all… And no hope for any grandchildren for at least another decade… With teenagers spending all their time on various devices the house already feels so quiet, cold and empty…

empty-nest.jpg

I feel a bit envious of the friends who managed to successfully navigate through the empty nestness. Some got pets to fill up their nest, others found new interests and hobbies. Quite a few found new relationships – nowadays marriage is often more “till the kids part” than “till death do us part.” And I don’t see such marriages as failures. Raising kids is a long-term commitment that often does require a lot of sacrifices. Any couple that can stick to it till the kids part deserves admiration…

While exploring new passions or reinvigorating the ones they gave up when the kids came along, a few brave souls in our social circle even opted for round 2 to the surprise of their round 1 offspring. This surely did take siblings rivalry to a new level… Never thought that nineteen and twenty year olds can get so jealous of the little bundles of joy…

grayscale photo of baby feet with father and mother hands in heart signs

Photo by Andreas Wohlfahrt on Pexels.com

How did you rediscover yourself?

THE END

Install Giggle 24.7 and run it every day :-)

From http://imgbuddy.com

A woman writes to the IT Technical support…..

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5,and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate

REPLY

DEAR Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: Ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT in any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Good Looks 7.7.

Good Luck!

From https://madamsabi.wordpress.com

Whether you recently said “I do” or just celebrated a double-digit anniversary, you can probably spout off a lot of info about your husband—his middle name, where he was born, his favorite food. But knowing these 10 other things can bring you closer than ever. Find out why, and try these relationship strategies to ensure your husband is anything but a mystery.From http://www.womansday.com

Install Giggle 24.7 and run it every day… 

😉

THE END

‘Till Death Do Us Part’ or ‘Till The Kids Part’?

Till.jpg
From Pininterest

As Jill Brooke points out, the words “Till Death Do Us Part” have defined how we look at marriage for generations. But in fact, they are five of the most polarizing words. “Why?” you may ask. Because if you look at the stats, almost 50 percent of you may not stay married to the person you are lovingly gazing at. Instead, there is a possibility you may get tangled in a divorce.

Don’t you think it is unrealistic to have the expectation that love will flourish for a lifetime that now runs into our 80’s and 90’s? We’re living longer than generations before us did, and “till death do us part” could mean 60 or even 70 years together instead of 20 or 30 years. It is very hard to fulfill that promise, till death to us part, for such a long time.

When a marriage lasts decades, it’s a gift, but no longer the norm. However, when people break up because they have had the expectation of forever, deep inside they feel like they failed.  Why do we focus on failure rather than acknowledging and celebrating the decades of success?

As Jill Brooke points out, it’s time to say what a success these marriages were for lasting as long as they did and accumulating memories and milestones.

Just because you’re divorced doesn’t mean that you and your ex don’t have a relationship. It just means that it’s changed. You won’t stay married, but you will always be parents to your children. You will always carry your histories.


From http://cyndi10.hubpages.com

Stephanie Coontz, one of the great sages and scholars of relationships and the author of Marriage, A History, points out that “by having high expectations that marriage should last, we may work harder,” she said. “But studies have also shown that those people who have the strongest sense that marriage is sanctified and should last forever are most likely to see it as a failure and betrayal and have more anger and disappointment.”

From http://drhurd.com/

For Jill Brooke, second marriage has now lasted 15 years. “Till Death Do Us Part” were not in the vows. Why has this marriage worked? “Luck, compatibility, a commitment to family and each other,”she writes, “One big reason is that I don’t feel entitled, I feel grateful. That has helped me manage expectations and not take anything for granted, which I believe is essential for long term marriages to stay alive and thrive.”

So may be, as proposed by Vicki Larson, instead of wringing our hands about so-called gray divorces and seeing those long-term marriages as failures, perhaps we should consider marriage as more “till the kids part” than “till death do us part.” The partner we need in our 20s and 30s, when many of us are looking to settle down and raise kids, may not be the partner we need in our 50s, 60s and beyond, when we’re free to explore new passions or reinvigorate the ones we gave up when the kids came along.

Can’t we just be honest about that and move on?

Relationship
From pinterest

Sources:

When Your Children Leave the Nest…

Empty Nest

No, none of my children is leaving the nest yet. Luckily, they are still not that old. Though it won’t take long before they grow up and turn into young adults. I’m dreading that moment. How am I going to cope with that, if at the moment I’m struggling to cope with one of my children leaving the nest for just a week?

Empty nest syndrome, the profound sadness that can come when children grow up and move out, is usually associated with mothers. But, men also experience grief when the last child departs–a problem that can be compounded by other issues. At the same time as kids leave home, careers tend to start leveling off. And suddenly, there is an abundance of time with the spouse –which isn’t always positive.

emptynest3

From http://everydayclimb.wordpress.com/

As Wayne Parker points out, the biggest challenge of being an empty-nester has little to do with the separation from the child, and everything to do with a need to redefine the relationship between the parents. Some spouses report that, because so much of family life has for twenty years or more revolved around children, they no longer have much in common. Sometimes their relationship have devolved into simply the relationship of a mother and a father; with the children no longer occupying center stage,  they might need to work through some critical relationship issues.

From Learning to live in an empty nest

Tips for Surviving the Empty Nest Experience

Recognize the reality of change. It is helpful to remember that moving into the empty nest stage of life is a major change, but it is one that has both positives and negatives. Accepting the reality of this new transition and knowing some of the changes to expect is helpful.

Focus on relationships. Now that the demands of parenting in your immediate family are less, it is good to remember that life is about relationships. Spend time with your partner and other friends. You can’t just decrease the time you spend on your relationship with your son or daughter; you have to add time to other important relationships.

middle-ages-friendship-ftrFrom Parade

Take care of yourself. You might have put a lot of things on hold for yourself as you have cared for your family. With some additional time, it’s smart to create a little more time for yourself. Get your exercise regime back; maybe rediscover an old hobby/interest or travel a little more. It’s a great time for refreshing, and you deserve it.

From Over50Feeling40

Make a dream list. Sit down and make a list of things you have dreamed about doing during the active parenting years and prioritize. Maybe it’s time for the trip to Hawaii or the new fly rod.

empty nesters happyFrom Huffington Post

Keep connected to the kids. You don’t stop being a dad when the kids are no longer at home; the roles just change. Email the kids (and grandkids when they come) periodically to stay in touch. Exchange digital photos or videos. Send care packages to the college kids; they will appreciate the extra touch.

old man thinking about his childrenFrom CompleteWellbeing

Consider volunteering. There are so many worthwhile organizations in your community where your talents can be used. If you really miss your connection with your teenagers, consider the Scouting program, Boys and Girls Clubs or the Big Brothers group. Your local elementary school would really appreciate your help with childhood literacy.

Buddy
From BigBuddy

Empty nesting can be a challenging time, but being prepared and having a game plan for making it through this natural transition can ease the pain and help you find new opportunities for growth and fun. Take the most out of it before:

Grandma
From Empty Nest Syndrome

😉

Adapted from:

  THE END