Are You Lonely in Your Relationship?

From http://healthythoughts.in/

Loneliness is a very painful feeling… You might believe that the people who feel lonely are people who are not in a relationship, but as Margaret Paul points out, just as often, they are lonely in their relationship. Being in a relationship does not always take away loneliness – it often causes it.

Somtimes.jpg

From http://www.quotesvalley.com

 Do you ever feel lonely in your relationship?

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What Creates Loneliness in a Relationship?

  • You may feel lonely with your partner if your heart is closed because you are protecting yourself from hurt with your anger or withdrawal. You cannot connect when you are closed and protected.
  • You may feel lonely with your partner when your partner is closed and angry, or withdrawn and uncommunicative. You will feel lonely if your partner deliberately shuts you out with work, TV, food, alcohol, hobbies, the Internet and so on.
  • You may feel lonely when you are trying to have control over your partner’s feelings by giving yourself up. Being inauthentic in order to control how your partner feels about you does not lead to authentic connection.
  • You may feel lonely with your partner when one or both of you are closed to learning when a conflict arises. The unwillingness to have open communication about important issues creates walls between you.
  • You may feel lonely if you or your partner use your sexual relationship as a form of control.
  • You will feel lonely if you or your partner stays up in your mind rather than being together with open hearts. Intellectualization can be interesting at times, but after a while it can feel flat and lonely.
  • You may feel lonely if your partner judges you regarding your thoughts, feelings, looks or actions. Judgment creates disconnection, and disconnection can be very lonely.
  • You may feel lonely when you or your partner can’t connect due to being overly tired, frazzled and overwhelmed, or ill.

Anything you do or your partner does that disconnects you from yourself and/or your partner may create loneliness. Loneliness goes away when we connect with each other from our hearts. Disconnection occurs anytime one partner closes his or her heart to protect or control.

bench nature love people

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We stay connected with each other when:

  • We are willing to be vulnerable and authentic, speaking our truth without blame or judgment.
  • We are willing to feel our painful feelings and lovingly manage them and learn from them — taking responsibility for all our feelings rather than avoiding them with protective, controlling behaviors. When we are connected with ourselves, we can connect with our partner.
  • We are willing to learn about ourselves and our partner, especially in conflict.
  • We are caring and compassionate with ourselves and our partner.
  • We make time to be together to talk, play, make love, laugh, learn and grow. We are interested in personal and relationship growth. Time together, and growing in our ability to love ourselves and share our love with each other, are high priorities for both partners.

When each of you is devoted to evolving in your ability to love yourself and each other, your relationship has a high chance of staying connected. Partners who are connected with themselves and each other rarely feel lonely.

(From Are you lonely in your relationship?)

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 THE END

I am a sailor, you’re my first mate…

Boat

I am a sailor, you’re my first mate
We signed on together, we coupled our fate
Hauled up our anchor, determined not to fail
For the heart’s treasure, together we set sail
With no maps to guide us, we steered our own course
Rode out the storms when the winds were gale force
Sat out the doldrums in patience and hope
Working together, we learned how to cope.
Life is an ocean and love is a boat
In troubled waters it keeps us afloat…

John McDermott


From http://charlottesheart.com

THE END

The sea of emotions

“The sea is emotion incarnate. It loves, hates, and weeps. It defies all attempts to capture it with words and rejects all shackles. No matter what you say about it, there is always that which you can’t.”

Christopher Paolini

From http://siemprefeliz.com

“Emotions are like the sea upon which our ship sails, and we don’t try to control the sea, but instead we control our ship…

Our body is the ship that we are given when we were born, and we can learn more about our body and improve it so that it can sail through life more effectively.

Our mind is the captain of the ship, and we can either have an Ahab or Hook type of captain, or maybe one of the more heroic sea captains, but in any case, it’s up to us to either train or reform our minds to be better leaders and navigators…

Emotions are always flowing, and if it seems like we keep feeling certain emotions over and over, that’s only because we keep guiding our ship in that direction over and over. If we think angry, fearful, or sad thoughts all the time, the sea of emotions we sail through will feel that way…

We’re all sharing the sea of emotions, and we can sail through life however we want. Our work is to navigate our ship in the direction we want to go, exploring the waters, lands, and people that are interesting to us. We don’t need to get bogged down in emotions we don’t enjoy, or engage in naval warfare against someone else. Sometimes we’ll sail together, and sometimes we won’t, but the journey will always be interesting…”

From Getting Better, Man

From http://beinglanterns.com

Have a wonderful journey

🙂

THE END