Sons

Son

I sometimes wish you were still small.
Not yet so big and strong and tall.
For when I think of yesterday.
I close my eyes and see you play.

I often miss that little boy
Who pestered me to buy a toy,
Who filled my days with pure delight
From early morn to late at night.

We watch our children change and grow
As seasons come then quickly go.
But our God has a perfect plan
To shape a boy into a man.

Today my son I’m proud of you
For all the thoughtful things you do.
I’ll love you till my days are done.
And I’m so grateful you’re my son.

by Larry Howland

Boys

Credits:

  1. Image 1 from https://quotabulary.com/amazing-quotes-about-mother-son-relationship
  2. Poem from https://quotesjoss.blogspot.com/2018/08/mother-son-inspirational-quotes.html
  3. Image 2 from https://proudhappymama.com/30-beautiful-mother-and-son-quotes-and-sayings/

Is FUN=RUN and FREE=FLEE?

Trees

I like this quote by Ram Dass, though not all people I see as trees. Some are more like bushes to me, others – tumbleweeds that roll wherever wind blows them… with neither roots, nor attachments in life…

Tomas and Sabina from ‘The Unbearable Lightness of Being’ look like such tumbleweeds to me… so light, so fun and always on the run to flee any attachments and stay free… A very heavy burden for demisexual Tereza who can’t separate sexual attraction and lust  from love and emotional connection…

This ”lightness of being’ philosophy however is not new… For centuries it was practiced by the rich and powerful. Only they could afford it, often at the expense of common people as reflected in one of the Russian proverb from the “good old days”: “Do not promote me to Corporal, but do not touch my wife”…

In modern Western societies the ‘lightness of being’ philosophy of casual relationships is becoming more common. It is often associated with earlier stages in life, with exploring life before making long-term choices and settling in.

While such behaviour is no longer considered ‘abnormal’ as it does not violate norms of the modern Western society, it can cause the person distress if ‘avoidant’ style of attachments starts dominating person’s life, preventing that person from forming deep meaningful relationships, having family and children.

According to Darlene Lancer, “around 25 percent of the population has avoidant attachment style. People with avoidant attachment style avoid closeness and value their independence and self-sufficiency more than intimacy. They can enjoy closeness — to a limit. In relationships, they act self-sufficient and self-reliant and aren’t comfortable sharing feelings. They protect their freedom and delay commitment. Once committed, they create mental distance with ongoing dissatisfaction about their relationship, focusing on their partner’s minor flaws or reminiscing about their single days or another idealised relationship…

Although most people don’t change their attachment style, it can be altered to be more or less secure depending upon experiences and conscious effort. To change your style to be more secure, seek relationships with others who are capable of a secure attachment. You can easily spot them as they radiate warmth. Loving comes naturally to them. They accept people’s minor shortcomings and treat them with love and respect. They don’t play games or manipulate but are direct and able to openly and assertively share their needs and feelings.”

You can also try the following:

Attachment style affects all aspects of the relationship, including sex life. Resolve all barriers to intimacy and don’t let the ‘lightness of being’ to become unbearable…

THE END

References:

When we get old…

Age.jpg
“Around the corner, I met Anne Braveman, seventy-nine, and Rita Kahn, eighty-six, who told me they had gone to the movies the week before. It wasn’t some official, prearranged group outing. It was just two friends who decided they wanted to go see The King’s Speech on a Thursday night… A nursing assistant had to agree to join them. Braveman was paralyzed from the waist down due to multiple sclerosis and got around by motorized wheelchair; Kahn was prone to falls and needed a walker. They had to pay the $15 fare for a wheelchair-accessible vehicle to take them. But it was possible for them to go. They were looking forward to watching Sex and the City on DVD next.

“Have you read Fifty Shades of Grey yet?” Kahn asked me, impishly.

I allowed, modestly, that I had not.

“I had never heard of chains and that stuff,” she said, marvelling. Had I? she wanted to know.

I really didn’t want to answer that…”

(from Being Mortal by Atul Gawande)

We do not stop having fun when we get old.
We get old when we stop having fun…

THE END

Credits: Image from searchgi.com

Lighthouse

lighthouse 1Image  from imanikingblog.com

She stands high upon the bluff
a silhouette of one
lonely on the shore
It’s what she’s always done.

She is a lonely beacon
that beckons all to come
unnoticed by the multitudes
but cared about by some.

An angel to the sailors
on a bleak and stormy night,
the savior to the ships at sea
on a foggy night…

Visit the Reluctant Poet blog to read this wonderful poem written by Charles Robert Lindholm and always keep your light shining…

The Reluctant Poet

THE LOVER OF THE LIGHT - ON THE BLUFF 60 PERCENT
By Charles Robert Lindholm

She stands high upon the bluff

a silhouette of one

lonely on the shore

It’s what she’s always done

She is a lonely beacon

that beckons all to come

unnoticed by the multitudes

but cared about by some

View original post 123 more words

Home

Home.jpg

A home is not where you come back to sleep
A home is where you come back to feel alive
A home is not a place to store your worries
A home is a place to let your happiness thrive

A home is not where you live in darkness
A home is where you say goodbye to gloom
A home is not where you argue and fight
A home is where you let love bloom…

May you always have home
where you feel safe, loved, cared for,
supported and accepted…

THE END

Credits:

No time…

pexels-photo-1583112.jpeg

Photo by Amit Pal on Pexels.com


What is this life if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty’s glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this is if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare…

William Henry Davies

woman lying down on blades of grass

Photo by Ike louie Natividad on Pexels.com

To love OR not to love…

“You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.”

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

woman about to kiss man

Photo by Сергей Гладкий on Pexels.com

All grown-ups were once children … but only few of them remember it. The Little Prince reminds us who we are and what makes us special by helping us to see the world through the eyes of a child.

As Michael Rennier points out, “adults aren’t disappointing simply because we have grown bigger, or obtained jobs, or taken on responsibilities. We are disappointing because for many of us these pursuits have taken on a disproportionate importance. We have forgotten how to see the world as it actually is and are blinded by appearances. We see people as statistics, education as functional, food as fuel, clothing as utilitarian, books as unnecessary luxury… We vastly over-value what we can experience with the senses. If this is what it means to be a grown up, is it any wonder that Saint-Exupery refused to condone our way of life? We are like the accountant he describes, spending our days working over our books, counting everything up, claiming ownership of all we can fit in the ledger, and failing to see that we live in a whole, wild universe filled to the brim with stars somewhere in the midst of which one, unique rose lives on a planet and calls out for love.

anniversary beautiful bloom blooming

Photo by Tucu0103 Bianca on Pexels.com

The rose, for Saint-Exupery, represents love, the way in which we tame each other and allow ourselves to be tamed. It is this invisible virtue that makes one, single rose special. It isn’t the flower itself, after all, there are fields and fields of roses out there. By outward appearances, a rose is like any other rose. So how is it different? It is the invisible bond of love.

In order to have a truly perfect love, we are required in a way to become children again and learn to whole-heartedly trust and give all we have to the beloved. If we care for one another, we deny ourselves for their sake, even if this means we sometimes get hurt. It is worth the risk because the only other alternative… is to treat every other person as an object… to see a field of roses, objects that are nice enough but fairly common… ”

The cost of not daring to love is to miss the warmth of a close connection with another person, inability to open up, be loved and understood…

 

References: