Feeling understood and fully accepted as you are is crucial to your well-being and enduring sense of security. Let’s consider a few reasons why:
1. You’re known.
When you experience being misunderstood, the connection between you and the other person is (however temporarily) severed. You’re by yourself, “dis-joined,” cut off.
2. Your identity is confirmed.
Having others see you as you want and need to be seen verifies your sense of self. It assures you that who you believe you are is understandable and acceptable. To feel truly “gotten” is to feel deeply, rewardingly validated.
3. You belong.
Feeling understood connects you to others, allowing you to feel welcome.
4. You’re part of something larger than yourself.
We all need to feel that we’re related to a community of (at least relatively) like-minded individuals. Such an expanded perception of self helps to make our lives feel more meaningful, more purposeful — and it contributes to a sense of personal value as well.
5. You’re accepted.
Feeling understood is in many ways tantamount to feeling accepted as you are.
6. You’re empowered.
If you feel understood, you’re not groping your way in the darkness. With others’ respectful willingness to recognize you and your intentions, you’re empowered to attempt, and accomplish, things that you otherwise might not be driven to do.
7. You understand yourself better.
If someone says, “So, in other words, it sounds as though you must believe [X] because you seem to be implying [Y],” it’s quite possible that their synopsis of what you shared actually goes beyond what you yourself had realized. In adding something of their own intuition and experience to your utterance, they may help you better comprehend the deeper, more personal ramifications of what you’re communicating.
8. You experience more satisfaction in your relationships.
Feeling understood prompts you to relate more fully to others, to show more willingness to be open and vulnerable with them. As Carl Nassar (“The Importance of Feeling Understood”) astutely observes: “When we feel understood . . . we show [others] our true selves—flaws and all. In turn, they are more likely to be vulnerable and honest with us. This helps us connect . . . on a deeper level, improving the quality of our relationships.”
9. It becomes easier for you to accept yourself
When you feel truly understood, it becomes easier to accept yourself just as you are. If others can understand you and accept who you are, you should be able to, as well.
10. You’re shielded from the depths of depression.
Depression is closely tied to feelings of separation and estrangement. So feeling understood and connected to those around us may be one of the best safeguards from entering this so torturous, agonizing state.
The first criteria of a fulfilling relationship is to be truly understood by another person without trying too hard. And the second is to be accepted without judgment for who we truly are. Understanding and acceptance are the essentials of any fulfilling relationship…
Do you feel understood and fully accepted
Do you need to compromise the REAL YOU to be loved…?