( by Nicholas Gordon )
( by Bes Lukson )
However far away;
And for the words you said to me
That brightened up my day.
Knowing simply that you’re there,
Yet thinking much of me,
Opens up my happiness,
Undone for all to see.
When I ask my students these questions, most guess that women are more likely to do all of the above. Yet it turns out that the right answer is “men.”
I should note that the gap has been closing over time. And these days, the gap is quite small.
But everyone’s surprised, probably because women have grown up on Disney princesses and are stereotyped to want romance and relationship while men supposedly just want sex.
So why doesn’t reality match expectation?
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“Marriage was a lot more stable when women had to give in to everything their husbands wanted. But it was also less satisfying, not just for women but for many men who never quite understood why their wives were so unhappy or withdrawn.
Over the past century, a good marriage has steadily become fairer, more fulfilling, and better at fostering the well-being of adults and children than ever before in history. At the same time, an unsatisfactory marriage has become less bearable and more brittle. These two seemingly contradictory changes stem from the same source – the breakdown of husbands’ legal domination over wives and of women’s economic dependence on men.
Today, marriage takes more time, more love, more work, and more daily negotiation – from both partners, not just the wife – than it did in the past. There is no magic formula, weekend encounter, or set of “rules” that can bypass the hard work it takes to make a marriage succeed. The bad news is that if negotiations break down, there are few constraints forcing unhappy partners to stay together. Yet, if they could speak, a lot of couples who lived in the “old days” would tell you that this is also the good news.”
“All men cheat.” “He can’t keep it in his pants.” “Men only talk about beer, sex and sports.”
That’s Lisa Hickey over at The Good Men Project reciting stereotypes about the supposed sex-craved male. But stereotypes aren’t reality, she says. And she’s got backup from Wake Forest psychology professor, Andrew P. Smiler who recently wrote a book called, “Challenging Casanova: Beyond the Stereotype of the Promiscuous Young Male.”
Smiler says it’s no wonder we think men are all about casual sex. Stereotypes abound and play out in pop culture. Walking through TV history we’ve got:
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“Strangers think I’m quiet. My friends think I’m outgoing. My best friends know that I’m completely insane.”
From Hippie Peace Freaks
“Age is no barrier. It’s a limitation you put on your mind.”