Dads…. We may respect them, appreciate them, get annoyed by them, or laugh at their jokes. However one thing is for sure: We wouldn’t be who we are without them. And so often their jokes turn out to be some of life’s most important lessons…
One of my dad’s favourite songs was about a friend…
Once when he heard this song on the radio, he said: “Like with friends, do not be in a rush selecting a life partner… Take your chosen one up a high mountain with you… And if he survives your sense of humour, bring him home – I’ll have a look…” đ
Funnily enough, we lived in a flat part of the country with not a single hill in sight…. đđđ
Santaâs making his list of whoâs been naughty and whoâs been nice this year. Will you find you or your partner on the naughty or the nice list? Check out OneLove Foundation’s naughty and nice lists to find out!
1. You accept and love your partner for who they are, including their quirky qualities!
2. You donât make jokes at your partnerâs expense and you can have constructive conversations if something is bothering you in the relationship.
3. You trust your partner and donât get suspicious of what theyâre doing when youâre not around.
4. You and your partner make relationship decisions together with neither person feeling like they have no say.
5. Your relationship doesnât feel like an emotional roller coaster. You keep your cool when you argue, drink, or get upset.
6. You and your partner are both happy with the amount of time you spend together and the amount of time you spent apart. You have your own life outside of your relationship and can balance a love life and a personal life.
7. If thereâs a problem in the relationship, you and your partner can have a constructive conversation about it without fear of retaliation.
8. Your friends and family like your partner and your partner encourages you to maintain healthy relationships with these very important people in your life.
9. Your partner respects your decisions. They donât tell you or make subtle hints about what you can do, what to eat or wear, and who you should talk to or be friends with.
10. You know your relationship is making you a better, happier person. You have no doubts about whether or not itâs right for you.
1. Your partner tries to hide or change you instead of accepting you for who you really are. Your partner makes you feel like you need to change to keep them satisfied.
2. Your partner nitpicks and criticizes you more than youâd like.
3. Your partner is always wondering or worrying about what youâre doing when youâre not together.
4. Your partner is the one calling all the shots and you feel like you need to follow along to keep the peace.
5. Your partner wants all of your time, but you want a little more time to yourself. You donât bother talking to them about it because you know they will overreact or, if you do bring it up, they lash out at you or make you feel guilty for wanting some time apart.
6. Your partner makes you feel responsible for their happiness or success.
7. Your partner makes you wonder if youâre the problem in the relationship and they blame you for everything.
8. Your partner doesnât get along with your friends and family.
9. Your partner tries to control what you do, who you spend time with, and who you talk to. Theyâll tell you an outfit doesnât look good so you change, ask you not to talk to someone they perceive as a âthreat,â or tell you what parties you can go to.
10. Your partner is belligerent and out of control when they drink.
If you find yourself thinking, âthatâs my relationshipâ after reading this naughty list, start the New Year by addressing this and seek professional help if needed.
âWhen I was drafted into the army in April 1984, I was a nineteen-year-old boy. The club where they took us was a distribution centre. Officers came there from various military units and picked out the soldiers they wanted. My fate was decided in one minute. A young officer came up to me and asked, âDo you want to serve in the commandos, the Blue Berets?â Of course I agreed. Two hours later I was on a plane to Uzbekistan (a Soviet republic in Central Asia), where our training base was located.
During the flight, I learned most of the soldiers from this base were sent to Afghanistan. I wasnât scared. I wasnât surprised. At that point I didnât care anymore because I understood that it is impossible to change anything. âTo serve in the Soviet army is the honourable duty of Soviet citizensâ ââŚ
I love following Everyday Hero on LinkedIn and reading stories of amazing people – people like all of us. We all can be heroes: in our homes, our communities, and our lives… Lets share our stories to make this world a better place and give us all more reasons to smile and laugh… To get the ball rolling, I’m sharing one of mine…
Saving us all from the 3rd world war
This story happened almost twenty years ago when my three children were under the age of four. Me and my friend needed some papers with official stamps. So off to the Russian Embassy we went. We entered the waiting room and my heart sank. There was a huge crowd of people there and nothing to keep my wild little boys entertained. We joined the queue, my children started squealing. Here the door opened and the consul came out growling.
âWhose are those kids,â he asked looking at my friend.
âThey are not mine⌠Mine are at home..â â she said
âAt homeâŚ. With whom?â
âWith my husband of courseâ
âHow many of them?â
âThree boys all aged under fourâ
âAlone, with your manâŚ. How did you dare⌠No Russian man will ever survive thereâŚâ
âDon’t worry…. My man is Germanâ, responded my friend.
âGerman!â shrieked the consul. He just could not comprehend. âThatâs even worse! If he wonât survive, Iâll be blamed of courseâŚ. All Russia will be blamed for your kids under four. That will surely start the third world war! You go first,â â he said to my friend and took her in his office with all her papers to stamp.
My kids got much noisier from all the boredom. The consul came back and went straight towards them.
âSo whose are these kids?â
âThey are mine,â I said.
âYou go next⌠Or I wonât survive them.â
A few minutes later with all the papers and stamps, we left the embassy with a sense of achievement and a huge relief that we saved the world from the 3rd world war grief.
“Understand: you are one of a kind. Your character traits are a kind of chemical mix that will never be repeated in history. There are ideas unique to you, a specific rhythm and perspective that are your strengths, not your weaknesses. You must not be afraid of your uniqueness and you must care less and less what people think of you.”
Robert Greene
Photo by Jou00e3o Gabriel Amorim Antunes on Pexels.com
You know that saying âyou canât teach an old dog new tricks?â That saying has perpetuated a myth that the old dogsâ brain has hardened in ways that make him unable to learn anything new. For many decades the scientific community thought this to be true â of animals and people alike. But, as science has progressed, weâve found that simply isnât reality.
Modern neuroscience has proven that our brains are more malleable than we could have ever imaginedâwell into later stages of life. We can teach an old dog new tricks!
Still, many of us get down when we face the difficulties of learning new skills or mastering old ones. We blame the rapidly evolving technology environment, or job competition, or lagging energy levels for our failings. But we donât need to. All we need to do is adopt a growth mindset and we can learn and grow as we please.
The Growth Mindset
The idea of a growth mindset came from the famous Stanford researcher, Carol Dweck. Dweck and her team stumbled upon the phenomenon when observing students and their various responses to failure. Why was it, they wondered, that some students could bounce back from a setback like nothing happened, while others sulked and fumed when obstacles fell in their way?
It wasnât the magnitude of the setback, nor the consequences of the setbacks that determined the studentâs responding behaviorsârather, it was their mindsets. Some students had a fixed mindset while others had a growth mindset. The ones with a fixed mindset believed that capabilities are innate and were sure that no matter how hard they tried, they wouldnât be able to do anything about their failures. The growth mindset kids believed that they could eventually learn to do anything if they put in effort and practice.
How to Get Your Own Growth Mindset
If you donât already have a growth mindset, there is good newsâ developing one isnât too hard! The real struggle comes down to alleviating the shame and embarrassment we feel around failure and set-backs.
1. First, we should acknowledge our set-backs or unfavorable circumstances. We donât want to call them failures, though. We want to call them learning opportunities. Marvel at the processes more than the results.
2. Now we want to acknowledge any shame that might accompany those learning opportunities. This is a key step because it alleviates lingering embarrassment.
3. Next, laugh it off! You can either laugh it off by yourself or with others. We recommend finding others who are non-judgmental and supportive who you can laugh with. This helps normalise laughing at your setbacks and helps give you perspective.
4. View your setback as an opportunity. At least, itâs a great story to tell! At most, itâs an opportunity to learn where you can improve.
5. Reflect. If your setback took place in a business setting, make sure to take note of it so you can avoid it in the future!
6. Lastly, and most importantly, stay curious. Never lose your sense of wonder for the world. Never stop wanting to know more…
Whenever you encounter a new challenge, respond to your fixed mindset thoughts with growth mindset and take the growth mindset action!
 “We are all born for love. It is the principle of existence, and its only end.”
Benjamin Disraeli.
The following question was posed to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, ‘What does love mean?’ Check out a few loving answers below.
‘When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore… So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.’ Rebecca – age 8
‘When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.’ Billy – age 4
‘Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.’ Karl – age 5
‘Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.’ Chrissy – age 6
‘Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.’ Terri – age 4
‘Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.’ Danny – age 8
‘Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and just listen.’ Bobby – age 7 (Wow!)
‘If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.’ Nikka – age 6(we need a few million more Nikka’s on this planet)
‘Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day.’ Noelle – age 7
‘Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.’ Tommy – age 6
‘During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.’ Cindy – age 8
‘My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.’ Clare – age 6′
Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.’ Elaine – age 5
‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.’ Chris – age 7
‘Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.’ Mary Ann – age 4
‘I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.’ Lauren – age 4
‘When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.’ (what an image!) Karen – age 7
‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross…’ Mark – age 6
‘You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.’ Jessica – age 8
And the final one: The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, ‘Nothing, I just helped him cry.’
Otrazhenie 
