“The first step in the acquisition of wisdom is silence, the second listening…”
Solomon Ibn Gabriol
Have you ever noticed that the word ‘listen’ contains the same letters as the word ‘silent’? Are you here to listen? Are you open to learning, growing and hearing?
MY love it should be silent, being deep And being very peaceful should be still Still as the utmost depths of ocean keep Serenely silent as some mighty hill.
Yet is my love so great it needs must fill With very joy the inmost heart of me, The joy of dancing branches on the hill The joy of leaping waves upon the sea.
People gossip for many reasons, often due to insecurity. Most gossip arises from either a misguided desire to defend oneself against another who is perceived as harmful, or in order to connect more strongly to others in our social groups.
How can gossiping be distinguished from other ways of sharing information in a social context?
Firstly, by intent. Gossipers often have the goal of building themselves up by making others look bad and exalting themselves as some kind of bearers of knowledge.
Secondly, by the type of information being shared. Gossipers speak of the faults and failings of others, or reveal potentially embarrassing or shameful details regarding the lives of others without their knowledge or approval. Even if they mean no harm, it is still gossip.
Pope Francis’s words offer us a clue as to where to draw the line between gossip and heartfelt conversation: does the conversation aim to work toward unity and reconciliation, or is its aim self-assertion or putting down others?
When speaking about other people, choose positive words. It might be fun to say a little nasty joke behind someone’s back laughing at people’s clothes, hair, careers, talent, choices, and/or emotional state. However just because things are fun and easy doesn’t mean we should do them. Challenge yourself to resist that temptation.
5. Be indifferent to gossip about yourself. Spending time focusing on the negative things people say about you will totally damage your focus and leave you questioning yourself. In order to forge ahead and stay true to yourself, you have to not care about other people’s opinions of you or your work, unless it provides constructive criticism.
And don’t forget the feathers of gossip: once a gossip leaves someone’s mouth, no one knows where it ends up. It flies on the wings of the wind, and it is impossible to get it back.