What are your choices, compromises and sacrifices?

“Life is like a blanket too short. You pull it up and your toes rebel, you yank it down and shivers meander about your shoulder; but cheerful folks manage to draw their knees up and pass a very comfortable night.”

Marion Howard (1805-1875)

“The very concept of having it all flies in the face of the basic laws of economics and common sense. As Sharon Poczter, professor of economics at Cornell, explains, “The antiquated rhetoric of ‘having it all’ disregards the basis of every economic relationship: the idea of trade-offs. All of us are dealing with the constrained optimization that is life, attempting to maximize our utility based on parameters like career, kids, relationships, etc., doing our best to allocate the resource of time. Due to the scarcity of this resource, therefore, none of us can ‘have it all’…”

“Having it all is best regarded as a myth…. Each of us makes choices constantly between work and family, exercising and relaxing, making time for others and taking time for ourselves. Being a parent means making adjustments, compromises, and sacrifices every day…”

From ‘Lean In’ by Sheryl Sandberg

Family blance juggle

What are your choices, compromises and sacrifices?

ENDS

Image 1: by Eugeny (Ef) Kozhevnikov
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mage 2: A balanced family

Let’s look for way forward, not who to blame…

From http://off-campus.weebly.com/

As Michael Straczynski once said, “People spend too much time finding other people to blame, too much energy finding excuses for not being what they are capable of being, and not enough energy putting themselves on the line, growing out of the past, and getting on with their lives.”

Considering this general tendency, it does not come as a surprise when we see men being blamed for all problems affecting women.

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From http://terry73.wordpress.com

Women do have lots of problems. As Sheryl Sandberg points out in her book Lean In, “the blunt truth is that men still run the world. This means that when it comes to making the decision that most affect us all, women’s voices are not heard equally…”

There are lots of reasons for this. “Women face real obstacles in the professional world, including blatant and subtle sexism… Too few workplaces offer the flexibility and access to child care and parental leave that are necessary for pursuing a career while raising children…”

Embedded image permalink

From https://twitter.com/workingmothers1

As the result, the whole society suffers: “The laws of economics and many studies of diversity tell us that if we tapped the entire pool of human resources and talent, our collective performance would improve. Legendary investor Warren Buffett has stated generously that one of the reasons for his great success was that he was competing with only half of the population. The Warren Buffetts of my generation are still largely enjoying this advantage. When more people get in the race, more records will be broken. And the achievements will extend beyond those individuals to benefit us all.”

Men in a boardroomFrom http://www.wemadeit.ca

When asked how American women could help those who experienced the horrors and mass rapes of war in places like Liberia, Leymah Gbowee (Liberian peace activist who won the 2011 Nobel Peace Prize) responded with four simple words: “More women in power.” We do need more strong women in power who don’t play victim, who don’t make themselves look pitiful, who don’t point fingers but stand firmly and deal with the problems.

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From http://www.pinterest.com

We do need more women in leadership roles to improve conditions not only for all women and children, but for men as well.

“Why improving conditions for men?” one may ask.

As Sheryl Sandberg points out. “Today, despite all of the gains we have made, neither men nor women have real choice. Until women have supportive employers and colleagues as well as partners who share family responsibilities, they don’t have real choice. And until men are fully respected for contributing inside the home, they don’t have real choice either. Equal opportunity is not equal unless everyone receives the encouragement that makes seizing those opportunities possible. Only then can both men and women achieve their full potential. …

We all want the same thing: to feel comfortable with our choices and to feel validated by those around us. If more children see fathers at school pickups and mothers who are busy at jobs, both girls and boys will envision more options for themselves. Expectations will not be set by gender but by personal passion, talents, and interests.”

From http://cdn2.thegrindstone.com

Like Sheryl Sandberg, I hope my children will be able to choose what to do with their lives without external or internal obstacles slowing them down or making them question their choices. If they want to do the important work of raising children full-time, I hope they will be respected and supported by the society disregarding their gender. If they want to work full-time and pursue their professional aspirations, I hope they will also be respected and supported by the society disregarding their gender.

From http://d.gr-assets.com/

Let’s look for way forward, not who to blame…

😉

THE END

The Man in a Suit

ManFrom Pooky’s Poems

What do you see
When you look at me?
Asked the husband of one,
And father of three.
Do you see a good husband?
The love of a Dad?
Or grey hair,
And wrinkles,
And fun times not had?
Or a man in a shirt
And a tie and a suit,
Who’s cold blooded and vengeful
In his hot pursuit,
Of a spot at the top,
And a big leather chair,
Leaving no time for family,
Though their picture will stare
Back at him daily,
From its bright silver frame,
As it sits on his desk,
By the plaque with his name.
The picture grows old,
And the children do too,
And the wife grows more distant,
The marriage is through,
As he’s married to work,
Not his wife and his kids,
And his love of his work,
Means he gradually bids
Farewell to the things
In life that he should love.
Less responsive to family,
Than calls from above.
But he thinks that he does it
To make things at home better,
He thinks that each phone call,
Each meeting, each letter,
Are helping his prospects of
A better job,
And that each increased pay cheque
Will help him to bob,
In a tide of big bills
And of school fees and fares.
And as he works on,
He does so unaware,
That the more that he tries,
To help those back at home,
The more likely he is,
To end up alone.
He awakes from his daydream,
This man in a suit,
Considering life,
As he made the commute,
From his workplace to home,
And as he arrives,
He makes a decision,
And with gusto decides,
That his wife and his kids
Are important to him,
And with less pay it might be
A bit harder to swim,
In the huge tide of bills,
But what does he care
If it means that his loved ones,
Know that he’s there.
Knows that he loves them,
And love him in return,
They’ll love him regardless
Of how much he earns.
And so from that day,
He determines that he
Will be a husband of one,
And a father of three,
Not a man in a suit
And a shirt and a tie,
That’s just Monday to Friday
But the rest of the time,
He’ll devote to his loved ones,
Now he’s home with a smile,
And he cuddles his wife,
For the first time in a while.
She knows that he’s changed
Though he says not a word
And from that day forever,
His family come first.

By PookyH

Family
From One Big Happy Family

THE END