Make your own happiness a priority

“Make sure you don’t start seeing yourself through the eyes of those who don’t value you. Know your worth even if they don’t.”

Thema Davis


As Melanie Greenberg points out, the biggest struggle in life is the struggle to know, embrace, and accept ourselves, with all of our faults and imperfections. Many of us were raised by parents who were themselves victims – who were not taught to see their own worth, or who were not really seen by their own parents. Our grandparents generation faced massive trauma and upheaval due to the Second World War and the Great Depression. The focus was on survival and minimizing the damage, rather than on love, appreciation and intimacy. Individuals and families today face the challenges of long commutes, longer working hours, and global economic uncertainty. These stresses can beat us down, or make us build walls around ourselves that are so dense that even our nearest and dearest can’t get in. Yet, there is another way.

It is not selfish to be kind to yourself, to take care of yourself and to respect yourself. If you do not love yourself, no one else will. You can’t change others, but you can change yourself. Use ‘could’ instead of ‘should’, as your life is your choice, not your ‘duty’. Make your own happiness a priority, because YOU deserve it.



29 thoughts on “Make your own happiness a priority

  1. bkpyett says:

    Just believe it!! 🙂

  2. I express this sentiment to my children on a regular basis!
    “The hardest and most difficult thing you will ever do in this life is figure out how to be happy with who you are…yourself!”
    I struggle daily, and try to help them through their struggle as often as I can so they can experience some level of satisfaction with the amazing people they are becoming. I think the most difficult part is seeing ourselves through our own filters and not falling into the trap of using others’ perspectives.
    Thanks for the great post! 🙂

    • Otrazhenie says:

      Loved your comment. It is a very hard ongoing-challenge, but we do need to keep putting effort into loving ourselves. No matter what we are telling our children, our actions will influence them the most. If they see us treating ourselves respectfully, they will learn to respect themselves too.

  3. mgert123 says:

    Very wise words.

  4. mommyx4boys says:

    Thank you for the inspiring message.

  5. breakdownchick says:

    Self love has been and still is one of my biggest challenges. Thank you for sharing this.

  6. breakdownchick says:

    Reblogged this on Labeled Disabled and commented:
    Self love has been and still is challenging for me; but it is the direct route to healing!!!

  7. breakdownchick says:

    I had to reblog! Thanks again for sharing this! 🙂

  8. NumberCrazy says:

    Love your beginning quote…so very true.

  9. satzie says:

    I have been thinking through the same views on ‘why our parents & grandparents didn’t handle us much better’. My grandparents, left my father in poverty and their village was completely devoid of growth & opportunities. And hence they had to move to new place and my father started to work from his early teens. He missed opportunity for higher education. And since he had to work for the entire family, he also lacked time for himself. Like you said, they weren’t taught. And from another view, they might not had the opportunity to figure it out.

    The Maslow’s hierarchy doesn’t hold only for individuals, but also for generations. I’m intending to say that one generation suffers for basic food & Shelter, the next goes up and might work a lot for safety, and then the next goes further higher and so on. Our parents & grandparents had gone through their level of tougher times with economy and crises, but still made sure we got education, safety and comfort. Likewise it is our responsibility to give our future generation a much better life from the lesson we learn from our level of crises.

    Well said with the point that we need to learn to love ourselves. Once we start loving ourselves, it could spread on to others as well. Once we start making the changes within us, it could spread to others as well. Ofcourse any change has to begin with us, as we are first the person who could listen to our voice much better.

    Good post Otrazhenie.

    • Otrazhenie says:

      So true, Satzie. The Maslow’s hierarchy can be easily applied to generations as well as individuals. My grandparents also went through lots of hardships. When people are struggling to survive, they don’t have any chance to think about self-esteem or self-worth. However most people are working very hard to make sure that they children and grandchildren will be better off in terms of education, safety, work opportunities and general life satisfaction. Your words reminded me my dear nanna, who was always so empowering and supportive of me 🙂

      • satzie says:

        It feels so good to know that your nanna is empowering and supportive.

        For people who are focusing on survival, there is a greater possibility of missing to focus on self-esteem / self-worth.

        Another view is that a person who haven’t felt even once about self-esteem might give survival more importance. But people who have touched the ‘self-esteem’ level, might focus on self-esteem much than survival.

    • Otrazhenie says:

      Very good point too, Satzie 🙂

  10. Thanks for the post. 🙂 People often only read the first sentence in a verse of Scripture, they often miss the point, I know I did. But this passage tells us clearly that loving ourselves is important, just as you pointed out. Love your neighbor AS YOURSELF. 🙂 This advice is found in several places in Scripture and I pray that we will all take heed and do more loving 🙂 thanks again.

    • Otrazhenie says:

      Very good observation. I never thought about it before, but you are totally right. Love your neighbor AS YOURSELF. Unless we love ourselves, we can’t truly love others in a well-balanced way.

  11. What an inspiring post! Thank you so much for reading what I had to say about happiness as well! I love that we’re on the same wavelength. Though, these truths you write are something I frequently have to remind myself. Very powerful writing!

  12. kp says:

    Two very thought-provoking posts!! Thanks…Kim

  13. usatutor1 says:

    Reblogged this on usatutor1 and commented:
    Take care of yourself as noted in this awesome blog post. Too often we see it as selfish to do so, but it is not selfish at all. Get more info on one of my blog posts titled “Your Main Investment.”

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