It’s not enough to know that marriage changes over time as described in my previous post The course of true love never did run smooth…. Myths about marriage—beliefs we hold as true that have no basis in reality or scientific evidence—also help sustain, and sometimes create, marriage problems.
To assess your beliefs in marital myths, rate how much you agree or disagree with each of the statements below:
- The central fire of human happiness is romantic love. You can’t be happy without romance.
- Everyone has a ‘perfect’ soul mate (Prince Charming/Princess Perfect). Sustaining a successful relationship is effortless once you find that ‘right’ person and everlasting happiness will follow.
- If my spouse loves me, he/she should instinctively know what I want and need to be happy.
- No matter how I behave, my spouse should love me simply because he/she is my spouse.
- I can change my spouse by pointing out his/her inadequacies, errors, and other flaws. Once he/she is changed, we’ll be ‘happy ever after’.
From The Soul Mate Quest
For each of the myths you agreed with, think of your reasoning in support of the myth. For example, who/what taught you this myth? What evidence do you have that this myth is true or false? How did these beliefs affected relationships you had in your life? If you are convinced that these statements are true, have a look at the resources provided at the bottom of this post.
However don’t throw out the baby with the bath water. There is nothing wrong with romantic love, only with the myths around it. Clean your relationship from all the unrealistic myths and memes and enjoy real love with a real person happily ever after.
- The Myth of Romantic Love
- Myths of romantic love
- Overcoming Myth about Marriage
- Letting go of the ‘perfect soul mate’ myth
- The Soul Mate Quest
- Marriage: Myth vs. Reality
- The course of true love never did run smooth…
- The most romantic love story…
- Marriage is not a ritual or an end…
- Love is caring for each other even when you’re angry
- Love and Marriage