False Accusations: Guilty Until Proven Innocent

“When one person makes an accusation, check to be sure he himself is not the guilty one. Sometimes it is those whose case is weak who make the most clamour.”

Piers Anthony

From http://www.saveservices.org

I personally met victims of false allegations and witnessed the devastating effect of such allegations on them and their families. One of the stories I came across is provided below.  I was shocked to discover that  in cases I came across the false accusers have not been prosecuted for their actions.

The high rate of false allegations identified in various studies  is truly alarming:

Unfortunately, these studies provide no information on whether the proven false accusers have been prosecuted for their actions.

False allegations is a crime that ruins people’s lives therefore I firmly believe that all false-accusers should be severely prosecuted for their actions.

From http://www.equalparenting-bc.ca/

Related Resources:

* * *


( Russia, 1990s)

(  Photo by Ruslan Lobanov  )

I met Nina in the orphanage where I was working. She just came back to teaching from the maternity leave. I always admired Nina. She was a very good teacher, full of compassion and love. She knew how to talk to children and make them feel good. She had three children of her own, which probably helped. Once I asked her why they decided to have that many children, as people rarely had more than one child at that time, if any at all. Life was too tough and unstable.

“It’s a long story,” – she said. “I married straight after graduating from the Pedagogical University. My husband was a teacher as well. By the time we had our second child he was offered a position of the deputy-principal in one of the local schools.

That year we got an offer through the district teachers board to apply for a one-year work-experience position in the UK. There was only one such position for the whole district. We perfectly fitted the criteria – a family of teachers with two kids and one of the adults having a managerial position within the school sector. We both could speak English. We both were very excited about that offer, as we have never been overseas before.

However a few weeks after we submitted our application, the principal of the school called my husband for a private chat. A mother of a 15-year-old student filed a complaint that he was sexually harassing her daughter at school. We both were shocked, all the teachers at school were stunned. No one believed the allegations. My husband hardly knew this girl and had never been with her alone.

He was stood down as a deputy-principal while the school was investigating the issue. It turned out that there was no issue at all after all. The girl herself knew nothing about the allegations and her mum soon withdrew her complaint. But while the school has been dealing with that complaint, we missed out on the trip to the UK.

A few months later the girl’s mother admitted that she was paid by the principal of a neighboring school to file this complain, so that he could go to UK with his family. And he did.

We both were very depressed and stunned by these false allegations. So we could not think of anything better to cheer ourselves up than having another baby. And we did.”

Her face lit up with a tired smile. “But I need to go now. My grandma is sick, so I need to get some medication for her before picking up the older kids from school and the little one from the creche.”

Nina and her husband were sharing their small cramped apartment with her mother, her mother-in-law and her grandmother. Five adults and three little kids under the same roof – they surely had a very “cheerful”  life.


(Photo by dopopioggia )


Is it OK for all men to be seen as predators?

stereotypesFrom 5 Things To Show That Men Are Daily Victims Of Gender Bias Too

As a society we talk a lot about racism and other forms of discrimination. But when it comes to men and the way they are being stereotyped and discriminated against, no one seems to have much to say.

I was taught from early age to be fearful of men and talk only to women if I needed help. In spite of good intentions of ‘keeping me safe’, that strategy made it only worse by limiting the pool of people I could ask for help when required. In fact, the safest I ever felt as a child was among boys and men.

Father holding daughter at beachFrom Greatest American Dad

For that reason, I get very upset when I come across examples of men being treated as potential predators. Child advocates advise parents to never hire a male babysitter. Airlines are placing unaccompanied minors with female passengers rather than male passengers.

In 2007 Virginia’s Department of Health mounted an ad campaign for its sex-abuse hotline. Billboards featured photos of a man holding a child’s hand. The caption: “It doesn’t feel right when I see them together,” which implies that my dad or uncle could be seen as sexual abusers if they were holding my hand in public when I was a child. How sick is that? What if I gave my dad a hug or a kiss in public, as I naturally did a lot as a child? Or sat on my dad’s lap? What’s wrong with that? Why should children be denied their father’s affection because of someone else’s sick mind?

From http://www.stopitnow.org/virginia

Not surprisingly fathers’ rights activists and educators argue that an inflated predator panic is damaging men’s relationships with children. Some men are opting not to get involved with children at all, which partly explains why many youth groups are struggling to find male leaders, and why there are so few males involved in early childhood education or  teaching in primary schools.

One of my male friends recently came across a lost child in tears in a mall. His first instinct was to help, but he feared people might consider him a predator. So he asked his daughter to comfort the lost child instead. “Being male,” he explained, “I am guilty until proven innocent.”

And that’s not the worst. In England in 2006, BBC News reported the story of a bricklayer who spotted a toddler at the side of the road. As he later testified at a hearing, he didn’t stop to help for fear he’d be accused of trying to abduct her. You know: A man driving around with a little girl in his car? She ended up at a pond and drowned.

Abigail RaeFrom Neglect Ruling in Girl Pond Death

People assume that all men “have the potential for violence and sexual aggressiveness,” says Peter Stearns, a George Mason University professor who studies fear and anxiety. Kids end up viewing every male “as a potential evildoer,” he says, and as a byproduct, “there’s an overconfidence in female virtues,” in spite of disturbing statistics on physical abuse inflicted on children by female perpetrators.

From Messages the Abusive Woman uses to Control her Children

Most men understand the need to be cautious, so they’re willing to take a step back from children, or to change seats on a plane. One abused child is one too many. Still, it’s important to maintain perspective. “The number of men who will hurt a child is tiny compared to the population,” says Benjamin Radford, who researches statistics on predators and is managing editor of the science magazine Skeptical Inquirer. “Virtually all of the time, if a child is lost or in trouble, he will be safe going to the nearest male stranger.”

Society protecting children by treating all men as potential predators is not safe. Just sick.

From Gender and Aggression