Be a Player, not a Victim

From http://whatthedoost.com

The Player/Victim principle is about how we respond to the circumstances in our life. The concept here is fairly simple. As a player, we take responsibility for the situations we are in. As the word responsibility indicates, we have “response ability“. We can pay attention to the factors that we can influence and we do our best to affect the results.

In moments of failure, the Player perspective is the only one that allows us to learn from our mistakes and to become better. Why? Because we take responsibility for the outcome and don’t blame the circumstances of our life. It’s a self-empowering perspective that can get us far – very far – in both work and life.

From https://twitter.com

The Victim might say that a situation is hopeless. The Player will look at it and say he/she hasn’t found a solution yet. The Victim will think himself that someone should take the first step, the Player is determined to pioneer ahead. The Victim will complain that he/she doesn’t have time for a certain thing. The Player will admit that he/she has different priorities. The Victim will say he/she has to leave. The Player makes clear he/she wants to leave.

We come across so many situations in our life when things do not go according to plan. All these things happen but it is up to us to decide how we deal with them.

Do we choose to turn sour and depressed? Do we choose to blame the situation and claim that life is so unfair?

 

From http://www.pinterest.com

… OR do we choose to  come out of the situation stronger and wiser? Do we choose to look at our own behavior and see where and when we could have effected a different outcome?

Mental health stigma quote: "I am not a victim. No matter what I have been through, I'm still here. I have a history of victory."    www.HealthyPlace.com
From http://www.pinterest.com


Be a Player, not a Victim.

The choice is yours…

😉

Credits: From ‘Are you going to be a victim or a player?’

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The toxic virus of the mind: US vs. THEM

Us

From The Toxic Myth of Us vs. Them

The human mind has a tendency to categorize people into social groups. Often these social groups can create an “Us vs. Them” mentality toward people who may be different than us in some way, whether it’s race, gender, age, nationality, culture, religion, or socioeconomic status.

This ‘“Us vs. Them” mentality is a very dangerous virus that pervades many minds on this planet. Often it is so woven into the fabric of our conditioning that many don’t even recognize it in themselves. We stop seeing individual difference within the group. Instead, we see only faceless ‘They’, which is always bad or wrong, while ‘We’ are always right.

This virus of the mind limits us, keeps us in perpetual cycles of fear and violence. We feel justified, even righteous in shouting down or shooting down “them”. Not surprisingly the ‘Us vs Them’ approach is commonly used in military training.

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from Us (Us us us) and Them (them them them)

Amazingly, studies of the ‘Us vs. them’ mentality have shown that people tend to favor a group bias even when they are categorized on relatively meaningless distinctions, for example: eye color, what kind of paintings they like, or even the flip of a coin. This tells us that we can potentially separate ourselves from a certain group of people on any random and arbitrary characteristic. Therefore, everyone is susceptible to be a perpetrator and/or victims of social prejudice and ostracism, even if the only difference is a star on a tummy, like in the case of Dr. Seuss’s plain and star bellied Sneetches depicted below.

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from Us vs. Them

From evolutionary perspective ‘Us vs. Them’ mentality makes sense. We’ve evolved to perceive these social categories as during tribal times, it would be beneficial to perceive unfamiliar people as a potential threat and treat them as such for protection and security.

Today many of these social categories and stereotypes are propagated by society, tradition, and culture. We see that all the time in politics (Republicans vs. Democrats), war (Palestine vs. Israel), sports (Mets vs. Yankees), and other aspects of our culture. Even though this mentality is not relevant in modern conditions and  creates unnecessary tension and antagonism between everyone, we are struggling with getting over this toxic meme.

How can we fight this powerful virus of the mind and bridge the gap between ‘Us’ and ‘Them’?

 US-Them-300x93
From Us-Them

Steven Handel believes that first of all, we need to “become more aware of our tendency to put people into groups and create an “Us vs. Them” mentality. Then, instead of seeing people in groups, we should try to see everyone as an individual worthy of respect, equality, and kindness, regardless of what groups they may be categorized in. If you choose to associate with a group identity, it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Just be super mindful of it and be cautious if that identity starts to have a negative influence on how you view other people who you don’t identify with.”

Like Steven Handel, I try to identify with everyone in some way. I believe at the core we are all human beings and want the same things in life, regardless of our race, religion or culture. We all want to know our family is safe. We all want to be loved and appreciated, have food on the table, enjoy good health. In that sense, we are all very similar and are connected as one.

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From The Only Message that Matters: “We are all One”

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Resources:

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