Tag Archives: Illusion

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Real love

True love

Love is a spiritual journey that involves constant learning and shedding of illusions. The illusions and fantasies of Love that we grew up with and have been fed through movies and the media. Let’s clear up the Fantasy of Love versus the Truth about Love.

Fantasy:

  • Love will always feel exciting, passionate, and fearless. We will always feel attraction
  • Love eliminates feelings of pain and grief and sorrow and promises only ecstasy
  • We will never argue, have disagreements or fight
  • It will be completely effortless, always

Real love:

  • Holds everything, every feeling. Ecstasy and pain, magic and sorrow. We will disappoint and upset each other and we will have to choose to love each other. We will have to practice forgiveness and compassion.
  • Requires my conscious effort each day. Every day is brand new and every day it’s my responsibility to show up fully. I am responsible for my part in the relationship
  • We are wildly imperfect
  • Everything changes and we are always changing
  • We will have to talk about responsibilities, money and sex and taxes and values and children and time and needs and fears and feelings and make lots of difficult decisions together
  • The work never ends, there is no destination and I intend to make sure my partner feels loved and appreciated every day
  • My partner can’t read my mind. It’s my responsibility to express what I need and how I feel.

The fantasy keeps so many in such painful, excruciating struggles and their feet are never on the ground. The fantasy fuels unrealistic expectations that leave us empty and starving for real love. Real love is grounding, humbling and messy.  It is a choice that requires effort every day. It shines through the routine experiences of the everyday life.

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