Do more of what makes you happy

Just as materialism transformed life in the 20th century, experientialism has the power to do the same in the 21st century, says the author of an influential new book “Stuffocation: Living more with Less” by James Wallman.

From http://www.amazon.com/

Wallman is a big advocate of “investing in experiences and memories, rather than the short-loved appeal of objects”

We buy too much, have too much, hold on too much. We are weighed down “by our own excesses” and our insatiable hunger for ever-more stuff is making us “joyless, anxious, depressed”. Our obsession with having things is unsustainable, he argues. It has a huge ecological impact. It adds to our debt. And it no longer propels us up the social ladder.

From http://www.dailymail.co.uk/

Experientialism – a value system based on experiences. In experientialism, doing becomes the new having. Happiness and status are defined not but what people have, “but by what people do”.

Experientialism is better for society, better for the world, better for us as people in terms of our happiness and status and giving us meaning in life, he argues. “And once you have a greater sense of happiness, once you have a greater sense of identity, you will be more resilient in your life and in terms of making better choices.”…

From http://www.scapesindia.com/

To be happier and healthier today, tomorrow and in the long run, try the following experientialist habits:

1. Know Your Stuff

To make sure your possessions play a healthy role in your life, ask yourself these questions: How often do I use my possessions? How much stuff do I really need? Do my things give me experiences and make me happy, or are they bringing hassle, debt, stress and depression?

2. Enjoy the journey

Place less emphasis on the goal and more on the process – the journey to get there. You do not have to change your world and give up your job, but you should do something you love.

3. Be in the moment

To get the most out of experiences it is important to dive into them completely.

4. Be Your own Audience

Social scientists have discovered that there are two types of motivation – intrinsic, when you do something for yourself and the enjoyment of the experience, and extrinsic, when you do something to impress others or for some reward at the end. If your motivation for doing something is intrinsic it is more likely to make you happy.

5. Put People First

Prioritise the relationships you have.

6. Spend Well and Feel Good

Ask yourself: am I buying this for show, or to really use now? Am I spending my energy and time on what matters to me?

7. Choose Life, Choose Experience

Life is a series of events that you experience, one after another, like a daisy chain of moments. Enjoy experiences that bring happiness and give your life meaning.

From http://www.dailymail.co.uk/

16 Things To Give Up If You Want A Happy Life

From http://www.lifehack.org/

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How do you see the world? How do you grow?

“Become friends with people who aren’t your age. Hang out with people whose first language isn’t the same as yours. Get to know someone who doesn’t come from your social class. This is how you see the world. This is how you grow.”

From World Wisdom

diversity in the workplaceFrom http://www.perfectlaborstorm.com

“I often encountered the negative view that boys’ schools produce men who are unable to relate to women and who, because of their arrogance about being male – encouraged by the school – carry negative perceptions about the place of women in today’s society…. At the very least it has been suggested the boys leaving such schools are emotionally bereft and incapable of establishing and maintaining effective personal relationships with women…

It was uncommon for the fathers of some students, men who had themselves been educated at boys’ schools, to reflect that they’d been unable to understand or communicate effectively with members of the opposite sex when they left school. Some of them went on to conceded that the workings of the female brain remained a mystery to this day and I have no doubt they’re not alone in holding that view….

Their adolescent sons didn’t, however, appear to share their experience of not being able to communicate effectively with adolescent girls. Partly due no doubt to the greater degree of social freedom available to girls today, the boys appeared to understand their female counterparts much better than their fathers had.

Almost all boys I spoke to had close female friends within their immediate peer group – often referred to as ‘chick-mates’ – and many spoke of the value of the conversations they had with these girl friends about the ‘real’ stuff, the stuff they could not or would not talk about with their male peers.”

From ‘He’ll be OK: Growing gorgeous boys into good men
by Celia Lashlie

From https://p.gr-assets.com

The same principle applies very well to mentoring.

As Prof. D Clutterbuck points out, ‘mentoring fulfills a desire most people share; that is to pass on their learning to help other people develop their potential.’

Dave Stein notes however that “mentoring is much more complex and complicated relationship than most people think. Mentors and their protégés need to take care to establish a mutually-beneficial relationship in order for it to be truly successful.”

Protégé must be willing to work hard at improvement.  That means “defining and accepting their shortcomings and being open to changing or forming new habits through adopting new strategies and tactics.” They have to be “honest, objective, appreciative, motivated and have the courage to change.”

What’s in it for the mentor? Mentors not only get the satisfaction of helping someone who needs and wants their assistance.  They also get to improve their own coaching, leadership, communication, and management skills.  Mentors note that they “often get new ideas and insights from my protégés” and their protégés provide them with an expansion of their business and professional network.

From http://www.nzim.co.nz

 

How do you see the world?

How do you grow?

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The economics of happiness

EconomicsFrom Venitism

Conventional wisdom says that money can’t buy happiness. In fact, research shows that money can make us happier—but only if we spend it in particular ways.

In their book “Happy Money: The Science of Smarter Spending“, authors Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton draw on years of quantitative and qualitative research to explain how we can turn cash into contentment.

The key lies in adhering to five key principles:

Buy Experiences (research shows that material purchases are less satisfying than vacations or concerts);

Make it a Treat (limiting access to our favorite things will make us keep appreciating them);

Buy Time (focusing on time over money yields wiser purchases);

Pay Now, Consume Later (delayed consumption leads to increased enjoyment); and

Invest in Others (spending money on other people makes us happier than spending it on ourselves).

“One of the most common things people do with their money is get stuff,” explains Norton, an associate professor of marketing at Harvard Business School. “But we have shown…in research that stuff isn’t good for you. It doesn’t make you unhappy, but it doesn’t make you happy. But one thing that does make us happy is an experience.”

From Venitism

HOWEVER

It’s not just individuals who should be thinking about investing in experiences when making purchasing choices. Policy makers should also keep this reasoning in mind for their communities. When there are plenty of parks, bike and hiking trails and other recreational opportunities available in the community, you can expect to have a happier population.

Happy

From Colour ME happy

Have a Happy Weekend

🙂

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