Love, intimacy and desire

Intimacy

What is intimacy?

The feeling of being in a close personal and affectionate association and belonging together… of a bond that is formed through knowledge and experience of the other…

Cuddle
From itisonlyacuddle

Recent research shows there are different areas of intimacy.

Intimacy 2
Intimacy

Intellectual intimacy

On this level, you can converse with your partner about current events, share ideas and thoughts, even debate political and religious topics. Both of you are able to add to the conversation through exchange of thoughts and ideas.

Senior Couple at home. Part of a series
Intellectual intimacy

Recreational intimacy

This is about recreational activities that the two of you enjoy participating in, whether  individually, or together.

Recreational
Recreational Intimacy

Social intimacy

It’s totally okay for you to have your own friends, and he have his, as long as the two of you have some “common” friends. Couple friendships can be an added bonus to a relationship by being a sounding board, providing feedback and accountability.

Friends
Friends

Spiritual intimacy 

This is where you, as a pair, grow deeper together. While this area of intimacy is the most subjective, due to the various religious backgrounds and practices you may have, it is still a very important component. In my opinion, it’s one of the most important, since a blossoming relationship is spiritual in nature at its core.

Spiritual
Spiritual intimacy

Emotional intimacy

Emotional intimacy is a psychological event that happens when the trust level and communication between two people is so deep that it breeds the mutual sharing of each other’s innermost selves. It is unrestrained mutual self disclosure.

In our most intimate relationships, we expect to be accepted as we are, respected, worthy, and even admired in the eyes of our mate. We would like our relationship to be a safe haven for us when we are worn and tired. We want a place of compassion and support.

Emotional
Emotional Intimacy

Physical intimacy

Sexual expression is part of our hard-wiring and can be both exhilarating and invigorating for a couple, use in the right context.

Desire 1
From http://meaningofintimacy.us/ 

It’s important to realize that having a sex life doesn’t have to mean having sexual intercourse. Intimate contact of any kind with your spouse is what is important and necessary. Human beings are by nature sexual creatures with an innate desire to touch, cuddle and feel.

Desire

In recent years, a large number of couples have focused mainly on the physical part of a relationship, reducing intimacy into a series of positions and practices, rather than focusing on holistically expanding a solid relationship in all areas of intimacy.

An essential ingredient of intimacy is allowing your spouse to be himself (or herself) without striving to conform him (or her) to your ideals.

In intimacy, we try to grow closer together, not to eliminate the “otherness,” but to enjoy it. Men and women are different and we must not, even with good intentions, seek to destroy those differences.

Mars Venus
From Mars vs Venus

What keeps us from experiencing intimacy? All of us are egocentric; the world revolves around us. Yet, when we focus on self, we lose intimacy.

The opposite of self-centeredness, then, is love. Love concentrates on the well-being of the spouse. We take time to listen to the thoughts, feelings, and desires of our spouse. We seek to understand and to respond with empathy. We choose to do things with each other, even things that may not be our favorite activities, simply because we want to be with each other.

From http://meaningofintimacy.us/

 

THE END

Forbidden Fruit

Fruit

From DeviantArt

Tasting your breath
Inhaling your sweet scent
You are the forbidden fruit
The love that was never meant

The pain of not having you
And holding you in my arms
The chance not existing
To impress you with my charms

The twinkle in your eyes
And your smile I can never win
To truly taste you, my Dear Forbidden Fruit,
Can only be a sin

To nibble a small part of you
Softly with my teeth
The desire so strong,
The mere thought of you makes my senses weak

Dear Forbidden Fruit,
Only for you I have such desire
No longer just a flickering flame
But a raging, red-hot fire

My Sweet Forbidden Fruit,
I greet you once again
Never to be my lover
But only as a friend. 

(by Jacqueline Kyong Hui Jenkins)

THE END