Let’s look for way forward, not who to blame…

From http://off-campus.weebly.com/

As Michael Straczynski once said, “People spend too much time finding other people to blame, too much energy finding excuses for not being what they are capable of being, and not enough energy putting themselves on the line, growing out of the past, and getting on with their lives.”

Considering this general tendency, it does not come as a surprise when we see men being blamed for all problems affecting women.

image

From http://terry73.wordpress.com

Women do have lots of problems. As Sheryl Sandberg points out in her book Lean In, “the blunt truth is that men still run the world. This means that when it comes to making the decision that most affect us all, women’s voices are not heard equally…”

There are lots of reasons for this. “Women face real obstacles in the professional world, including blatant and subtle sexism… Too few workplaces offer the flexibility and access to child care and parental leave that are necessary for pursuing a career while raising children…”

Embedded image permalink

From https://twitter.com/workingmothers1

As the result, the whole society suffers: “The laws of economics and many studies of diversity tell us that if we tapped the entire pool of human resources and talent, our collective performance would improve. Legendary investor Warren Buffett has stated generously that one of the reasons for his great success was that he was competing with only half of the population. The Warren Buffetts of my generation are still largely enjoying this advantage. When more people get in the race, more records will be broken. And the achievements will extend beyond those individuals to benefit us all.”

Men in a boardroomFrom http://www.wemadeit.ca

When asked how American women could help those who experienced the horrors and mass rapes of war in places like Liberia, Leymah Gbowee (Liberian peace activist who won the 2011 Nobel Peace Prize) responded with four simple words: “More women in power.” We do need more strong women in power who don’t play victim, who don’t make themselves look pitiful, who don’t point fingers but stand firmly and deal with the problems.

Quote

From http://www.pinterest.com

We do need more women in leadership roles to improve conditions not only for all women and children, but for men as well.

“Why improving conditions for men?” one may ask.

As Sheryl Sandberg points out. “Today, despite all of the gains we have made, neither men nor women have real choice. Until women have supportive employers and colleagues as well as partners who share family responsibilities, they don’t have real choice. And until men are fully respected for contributing inside the home, they don’t have real choice either. Equal opportunity is not equal unless everyone receives the encouragement that makes seizing those opportunities possible. Only then can both men and women achieve their full potential. …

We all want the same thing: to feel comfortable with our choices and to feel validated by those around us. If more children see fathers at school pickups and mothers who are busy at jobs, both girls and boys will envision more options for themselves. Expectations will not be set by gender but by personal passion, talents, and interests.”

From http://cdn2.thegrindstone.com

Like Sheryl Sandberg, I hope my children will be able to choose what to do with their lives without external or internal obstacles slowing them down or making them question their choices. If they want to do the important work of raising children full-time, I hope they will be respected and supported by the society disregarding their gender. If they want to work full-time and pursue their professional aspirations, I hope they will also be respected and supported by the society disregarding their gender.

From http://d.gr-assets.com/

Let’s look for way forward, not who to blame…

😉

THE END

Be a Player, not a Victim

From http://whatthedoost.com

The Player/Victim principle is about how we respond to the circumstances in our life. The concept here is fairly simple. As a player, we take responsibility for the situations we are in. As the word responsibility indicates, we have “response ability“. We can pay attention to the factors that we can influence and we do our best to affect the results.

In moments of failure, the Player perspective is the only one that allows us to learn from our mistakes and to become better. Why? Because we take responsibility for the outcome and don’t blame the circumstances of our life. It’s a self-empowering perspective that can get us far – very far – in both work and life.

From https://twitter.com

The Victim might say that a situation is hopeless. The Player will look at it and say he/she hasn’t found a solution yet. The Victim will think himself that someone should take the first step, the Player is determined to pioneer ahead. The Victim will complain that he/she doesn’t have time for a certain thing. The Player will admit that he/she has different priorities. The Victim will say he/she has to leave. The Player makes clear he/she wants to leave.

We come across so many situations in our life when things do not go according to plan. All these things happen but it is up to us to decide how we deal with them.

Do we choose to turn sour and depressed? Do we choose to blame the situation and claim that life is so unfair?

 

From http://www.pinterest.com

… OR do we choose to  come out of the situation stronger and wiser? Do we choose to look at our own behavior and see where and when we could have effected a different outcome?

Mental health stigma quote: "I am not a victim. No matter what I have been through, I'm still here. I have a history of victory."    www.HealthyPlace.com
From http://www.pinterest.com


Be a Player, not a Victim.

The choice is yours…

😉

Credits: From ‘Are you going to be a victim or a player?’

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Fat Cat in a Hat – What’s Wrong with that?

Lyrics

From MeetVille

Have you noticed how often people are blaming ‘those who are in charge’, ‘the bigwigs’, ‘the CEOs’, ‘the fat cats’ for all sorts of things? I had a few such comments on my blog in recent months, which made me think a bit more about that. Are all ‘bigwigs’ and ‘fat cats’ so bad?

Cat1From FuturityFirst

Stereotyping (i.e. putting people into groups and categories) is based on a normal cognitive process: the tendency to group things together. In doing so we tend to exaggerate:

  • the differences between groups
  • the similarities of things in the same group

Stereotyping

From Stereotyping

I never trusted faceless stereotypes and generalisations when people get assigned to a particular group on the basis of one characteristic or one of their identities. The group of ‘the bigwigs’, ‘the CEOs’, ‘the fat cats’ might in fact include very different people with varied life experiences, values, beliefs and views. Take, as an example, Sir Angus Tait, the founder of Tait Communications and The Tait Foundation that donated millions of dollars over the years to a variety of causes. As Michael Chick, Tait’s former CEO, said: “Angus was an immensely determined yet compassionate man, a great innovator and mentor for so many.” He might have been the ‘bigwig’ in his company but a truly admirable one.

angus-taitSir Angus Tait

The same in the past. Among wealthy people from the noble class there were some who cared about others and were trying very hard to push for changes in the society. In Russian history, there were Decembrists – noblemen united in an attempt to release their motherland from the chains of autocratic oppression, that was keeping Russia in poverty. There were hundreds of them, inspired by the constitutional governments of Western Europe. Members of the aristocracy, they were the first to rebel and attempt to overthrow the absolutist regime of the Tsar. However their uprising was a failure. They were condemned as criminals of the state. Five of them hanged, others incarcerated. More than a hundred sent into exile, sentenced to thirty years of hard labor in the mines of Siberia.

Decembrists’ wives followed their husbands into exile, leaving everything behind: their families, their children, their possessions, their lifestyle. One of these women – Maria Volkonskaya, the quintessence of class, a princess – had a newborn son.  All she wanted to take with her was her little baby – the Tsar did not allow her even that. They were never allowed to return…

If only the Decembrists won on that cold winter day and changed the course of Russian history – then, may be, there would have been no revolution, no civil war, no Stalin, no loss of millions of lives, no floods of blood, no tears and pain… 😦

‘The bigwigs’, ‘the fat cats’ – let’s try to see real people behind all these stereotypes. Some of them might be very bad, but a few might make us pleasantly surprised. 😉

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From Think Rich, Look Poor

Related posts:

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Toast to the Men from the Obedient Wives

( Photo by Valery Tavasiev )

Here’s to the men! Since Adam’s time
They’ve always been the same;
Whenever anything goes wrong,
The woman is to blame.
From early morn to late at night,
The men fault-finders are;
They blame us if they oversleep,
Or if they miss a car.
They blame us if, beneath the bed,
Their collar buttons roll;
They blame us if the fire is out
Or if there is no coal.
They blame us if they cut themselves

While shaving, and they swear
That we’re to blame if they decide
To go upon a tear.

Here’s to the men, the perfect men!
Who never are at fault;
They blame us if they chance to get
The pepper for the salt.
They blame us if their business fails,
Or back a losing horse;
And when it rains on holidays
The fault is ours, of course.
They blame us when they fall in love,
And when they married get;
Likewise they blame us when they’re sick,
And when they fall in debt.
For everything that crisscross goes
They say we are to blame;
But, after all, here’s to the men,
We love them just the same!

by Edgar Albert Guest (1881-1959)

( Photo by eduard z )

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Card
From ROTTENeCARDS

😉

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#Blame Twitter

Blame-TwitterFrom When in Doubt, Blame Twitter

As Conner Livingston points out, “Despite the cute little bird mascots and harmless-sounding name, Twitter can actually be tracked back to be the cause of nearly everything that is going wrong in the world. Everything.”

For ‘proof’ look no further than Twitter infographic from CableTV.com

 Twitterfrom CableTV.com

Political unrest is also routinely blamed on Twitter, with Turkey providing one of the most recent examples with Turkish Prime Minister blaming Twitter for the anti-governmental movement last week.

Here’s the context from #Resistanbul: “Initially sparked by the plans to redevelop Istanbul’s central public park, the protests are a pursuit towards defending civil rights and freedoms, protecting democracy and expressing discontent towards prime minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan, who has been denounced for his repressive rule. The government crackdown on the demonstrations, which includes widespread use of teargas and water cannons, has so far seen at least three people killed and thousands injured.

Female academic Ceydar Sungar  has rapidly come to symbolise the peaceful protestors of the ever-escalating “Occupy Gezi” riots spreading across Turkey. After emerging a few days ago, images showing the unarmed woman being sprayed with tear gas by heavy-handed police forces have rapidly become viral.”

Woman in redFrom #Resistanbul: The Woman in Red

Democracy? Human rights and freedoms? Why bother – just keep blaming Twitter…

arrested-for-tweeting

From Bahrainrights.org

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