My father never told me… he was not a talkative man… but the way he looked at me, the way he treated me made me feel that way. I never stop admiring how my dad seemed to always intuitively know what was the best for me, without reading any fancy parenting books or having any teaching degrees. I never stopped feeling his silent love.
At the time when men were rarely actively involved in parenting, my dad was always there for me, taking me for long walks, bathing me, putting me to sleep, calming all my fears… And I was a very fearful child scared of everything imaginable: darkness, heights, being alone, fights and arguments, snakes, worms, caterpillars, mice and rats to name a few…
Dad always asked the right questions, listened without making any assumptions or twisting the meaning of what he heard. Even when he disagreed, he rarely argued – he always found another way… Like the time when I saw him chopping the wood and then picked up his axe. “Don’t touch my axe”, he said. “Why? If you can chop the wood, why can’t I?” “Because you are not much bigger than that axe and I don’t want you to chop your head off”, he patiently explained. “Don’t worry,” I laughed. “My head is probably the only part of my body that I’ll never be able to chop off.” He did not argue, but made sure no axe was ever left within my reach…
Dad never used gender stereotypes. He never told me that I am a girl and therefore should behave or do things in a certain way. He just accepted me the way I was, without trying to mould me into anything else. It felt like a breath of fresh air, a welcome break from my mum’s and grandma’s constant nagging: “You are a girl, so you should be dressed like this, you should talk like that, you should do this and don’t do that….” I could never quite comprehend where my mum and grandma got all those dos and don’ts, which somehow I always managed to get wrong…
While my dad rarely expressed himself in words, he had other ways of getting his point across. His communication toolbox included not only admiring looks, but also silent staring, rolling eyes, raised eyebrows, all sorts of winks and a million of other facial expressions. I’m sure, there were some pulled hair too every now and then…
While parenting my own children, I met a lot of truly amazing dads and learnt lots more from them than from any parenting books or my teaching degrees. I never stopped admiring their creativity, ability to make any activity fun, patience, intuition and perfectly balanced approach to setting boundaries to provide maximum opportunities for challenges and freedom while keeping all risks under control.
It never stops puzzling me however that so many dads rarely recognise their amazing parenting abilities and intuition and are often quick to retreat and silence their views on parenting. Something that Celia Lashlie also noted in her book “He’ll be OK”.
Do not doubt your parenting skills. Follow your heart, trust your intuition and have fun.
Children do change us and our lives in lots of ways. Enjoy this special period in your life, treasure all the wonderful moments you are having with your children and stop pulling out your hair over not-so-wonderful ones….
- Image 1 from Pinterest
- Image 2 from The best quotes on Fatherhood
- Image 3 from Facebook
- Image 4 from Meme
- Image 5 from 71 Funny Dad’s Memes
- Image 6 from Facebook
Great post! Sounds like you had an awesome father.
I surely did and longer I live, more I appreciate his awesomeness and more I recognise his influence on myself 🙂
Wonderful post. I was a tomboy and never liked to wear dresses. I rarely do now, but will on occasion. Your dad sounds amazing. 🙂
And what a journey it is dear lady, for that connection most certainly teaches both parties 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋
Enjoy the post about Dads and daughters. Thank you.
My father always looked out for me, backed me up whether I was right or wrong. He overlooked so much of my character defects even if I disrespected him on occasion. I love him so much. He’s still with me. He’s 96.
Your father is truly amazing! It is so important to have someone in your life who will love you unconditionally, no matter occasional rudeness or mistakes. 🙂
This is a lovely tribute! I’m so glad that you have been able to recognize your father’s approval and love even if it wasn’t always verbal. I support and applaud your effort to celebrate all of the young Dads that you meet in your life!
Thoroughly enjoyed this post and can definitely relate!