What does a woman want?

close up photo of woman

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Sigmund Freud once said that “the great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is ‘What does a woman want?’

We don’t know for sure what response he got when he posed that question to Princess Marie Bonaparte. It seems highly likely she replied “reliable orgasms”.

While this might be of importance to many woman, I’m not convinced that’s all they want. To me Bonaparte was responding more from a perspective of a researcher rather than a woman. She was doing a research on orgasms at that time.

As Randolph M. Nesse points out in his book Good reasons for bad feelings: insights from the frontier of evolutionary psychiatry “birth control and disease prevention have made sex more available to more people more often. … Opportunities for sexual relationships are now a world marketplace of desire and deception, from Match.com to Tinder.” Does this make women happier in life? Does this make men happier?

For some it probably does, while for others I think Bryan Adams’ song reflects it the best.

Women do want to be understood, cared about, respected, wanted and loved. I’m sure a lot of men want that too…

What about you? What do you want?



7 thoughts on “What does a woman want?

  1. I’m very sure we are all the same in wanting those things you mentioned in your post. But the one thing I have found in all my travels, inside and out, was the simple fact that when I finally understood those fears in my life, they no longer disturbed me in any way, and I finally touched something I had always searched for, that love and happiness we always sought.
    And in that understanding I stopped reacting to ‘life’, on guard with my wall to those fears all the time, and began to live. Really live. Simply because those fears had stopped me loving myself with all those negativities I held within me. Once I saw the why behind them they lost their power over me, and for the first time in my life I smiled.
    No, not those smiles we are used to, for this one came from that place I had blocked, and for the first time in my life my heart came with it. I can only explain it as a glow, warm and free, and there is nothing I can compare it too because nothing else is like it.
    But I can say that I have stopped searching…I found what I was looking for 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

    • Otrazhenie says:

      Love your comment, Mark. That love that we are often searching in other and from others, often forgetting to look inside ourselves. And fears…. Like the way you described that special smile. Smiles are very different and so often are just empty masks. Glad that you found that special smile with warm glow and felt so free….

  2. Omatra7 says:

    I don’t want to fear… I want to feel safe and at ease with anyone who comes in my life. I want to be able to just enjoy and share my life without any fear.

    I am a little protective due to life experiences so that’s where that comes from.

    But I do want to be respected, and loved, appreciated… as well as give that in return

    Having a fire with someone is nice and would definitely be a bonus…

    But anyone I give my time to… I want to just be at ease and be free to love my life with them. Be able to let my guards down.

    I want to feel safe and protected – cared for… if I’m gonna let anyone in my life – I want to know they have a good heart… that they are a good person and are sincere

    At the end of my life – I want that hand to hold.

    But every woman or person is different with what they want – you can’t really classify all into one lump

    The things I want are not the same as what someone else might want

    • Otrazhenie says:

      Love your comment, Omatra7. Feeling safe, appreciated. Having someone trusted and reliable in our lives, that hand to hold… While every woman or person is different, I think a lot of us would want that…

  3. kinge says:

    Very well summarized. I like this “Women do want to be understood, cared about, respected, wanted and loved. I’m sure a lot of men want that too…”

    We are social beings and We all crave for a true connection. Unfortunately one can only offer this if they truly know themselves and many of us don’t that’s why there’s always the craving for something more but we can’t really point it out.

    • Otrazhenie says:

      Very well said, Kinge. It takes a lot of time and life experiences for us to truly understand ourselves. And that understanding is very important for a true connection with others. When we can’t understand ourselves, how can we understand others?

  4. rica says:

    Women want security.
    In all aspects.
    Yes, very demanding.

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