Rediscovering yourself

StrangerWe have a long weekend this week which I’m absolutely dreading. I used to love long weekends. They were full of fun, laughter and adventures with the kids…. But now they are just a reminder of the forthcoming empty nest and loneliness…

In a few months we’ll have just one kid left in this nest out of three, and in just a few years none at all… And no hope for any grandchildren for at least another decade… With teenagers spending all their time on various devices the house already feels so quiet, cold and empty…


I feel a bit envious of the friends who managed to successfully navigate through the empty nestness. Some got pets to fill up their nest, others found new interests and hobbies. Quite a few found new relationships – nowadays marriage is often more “till the kids part” than “till death do us part.” And I don’t see such marriages as failures. Raising kids is a long-term commitment that often does require a lot of sacrifices. Any couple that can stick to it till the kids part deserves admiration…

While exploring new passions or reinvigorating the ones they gave up when the kids came along, a few brave souls in our social circle even opted for round 2 to the surprise of their round 1 offspring. This surely did take siblings rivalry to a new level… Never thought that nineteen and twenty year olds can get so jealous of the little bundles of joy…

grayscale photo of baby feet with father and mother hands in heart signs

Photo by Andreas Wohlfahrt on

How did you rediscover yourself?


9 thoughts on “Rediscovering yourself

  1. I got divorced after 26 years, and after the onset of empty nest. And because I had actually married at 17 I had no experience at ‘independence’ so a whole new world opened up.
    Mind you I wasn’t in a great frame of mind and got into a mess. Hence asking God what meaning was there in this misery (story in my ‘About’ page). And in doing so I found something wonderful, something I had never dreamed existed and so began ‘my’ journey.
    I wanted to be a healer, and spirit being the loving creature that I am, got me to heal myself. Only then could I truly help in healing another.
    A wonderful / painful / blessfull / hard and loving path we each tread, to understand and find that inner happiness we have always looked for. It is there gently waiting to lift its arms and hug us with such beauty, after much pain, to show us a love like no other…our love ❤️

  2. paulfg says:

    “How did you rediscover yourself?”

    By losing (almost) what we had and never appreciated. And in the almost losing – we found what we had forgotten – that we were both really cool people who really really really really love each other – warts and all! 🙂

    The empty nest phase is a challenge. Only because it a phase to become familiar with – just as parenting was new and scary … or moving house … moving job … all those “how do we do this stuff” that keeps coming along. But this time the “excuses for papering over the cracks” have moved out – and we no longer had the mask of “mum and dad” to hide behind. 🙂

  3. Empty nest is a very interesting time for sure… ya know, it’s kind of a grieving process, only they have not passed… you miss them and I found I worry even more than ever about their well being.

    For me, I did get a dog, and it was such a blessing and just kept my spirit up, and he became my new baby, and he got me out of the house a lot! On top of that, I decided to keep journals for my kids, where I write how I feel about them, my thoughts on what is going on in their lives, along with tidbits of my life that I had not shared.
    I still do it 12 years later, and I actually created emails under their names, so it is easier to express my thoughts to them via my phone, ( they will not get access until I am dead) at random times. It has helped me so much, as I don’t want to call them every single minute, but… when I am no longer here they will have my thoughts over the years and know how much they were loved and missed.
    I tell them everyday, but I go into details in my journaling.
    Just something that worked for me… and just figuring out your new normal, and doing new stuff!

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