The Poison of Gossip

 How to Avoid Gossip and Stay Popular

People gossip for many reasons, often due to insecurity. Most gossip arises from either a misguided desire to defend oneself against another who is perceived as harmful, or in order to connect more strongly to others in our social groups. 

gossiping funny quotes quote lol funny quote funny quotes humor gossipFrom Pinterest

How can gossiping be distinguished from other ways of sharing information in a social context?

Firstly, by intent. Gossipers often have the goal of building themselves up by making others look bad and exalting themselves as some kind of bearers of knowledge.

Secondly, by the type of information being shared. Gossipers speak of the faults and failings of others, or reveal potentially embarrassing or shameful details regarding the lives of others without their knowledge or approval. Even if they mean no harm, it is still gossip.

Pope Francis’s words offer us a clue as to where to draw the line between gossip and heartfelt conversation: does the conversation aim to work toward unity and reconciliation, or is its aim self-assertion or putting down others?
"What do I do with my life? Do I create unity around me? Or do I cause division by gossip, criticism, or envy?" --Pope Francis, The Church of Mercy


How can we deal with gossip?

  1. Before speaking, ask yourself these several simple questions mentally about what you’re about to say before speaking aloud:
    • How would you like it if someone said this about you or your beloved ones?
    • Is it true? Maybe it is, but is repeating it necessary?
    • Is it kind? It may be true, about yourself or someone else, but if it will harm another, you have no right to repeat it.
    • Is it just?
    • Is it honest, compassionate, with the person’s best interest at heart?
    • Does the other person need to know that?

    • From
  2. When speaking about other people, choose positive words. It might be fun to say a little nasty joke behind someone’s back laughing at people’s clothes, hair, careers, talent, choices, and/or emotional state. However just because things are fun and easy doesn’t mean we should do them. Challenge yourself to resist that temptation.

Words have the power to destroy or to heal. Choose to communicate with affection, warmth & encouragement.From Pinterest

3. Silence is good. Don’t just talk to fill the air with conversation. Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence. 


4. Be careful who you open up to.

From Accent of English Language “AEL”

5. Be indifferent to gossip about yourself. Spending time focusing on the negative things people say about you will totally damage your focus and leave you questioning yourself. In order to forge ahead and stay true to yourself, you have to not care about other people’s opinions of you or your work, unless it provides constructive criticism.

behind my backFrom If you’re talking about me behind my back…

And don’t forget the feathers of gossip: once a gossip leaves someone’s mouth, no one knows where it ends up. It flies on the wings of the wind, and it is impossible to get it back.



16 thoughts on “The Poison of Gossip

  1. Reblogged this on Cheerful Acceptance and commented:
    Great article…. *raises hand* I know I gossip far more that I would like to admit… This article certainly gave me some things to consider then next time I go to “fill the silence.”

  2. Mélanie says:

    🙂 you’ve found my Romanian version from my 1st blog… 😉

    • Otrazhenie says:

      Yes, Mélanie, this video did come from you. Thanks for sharing it. Loved it. I do find your comments and posts very inspiring and thought-provoking 🙂 Love your blogo-playground 🙂

      • Mélanie says:

        spasiba for mentioning it, gaspadina O! 🙂 speakin’ of my virtual playground/crossroads, I hope you’ve read my “N.B” @ “about”… 😉
        * * *
        my very best, tons of inspiration and dasfidania! 🙂

  3. B Harmony says:

    I, I think about this all the time. Very relevant and thoughtful post.

  4. B Harmony says:

    Oops, I meant, O…

  5. lolsy254 says:

    I can absolutely relate to this, I have one group where gossiping is a huge problem and has caused so much destructive behaviours and situations.

    • Otrazhenie says:

      Hope, the members of this group will understand the damage gossiping does to everyone involved in that group and will make a positive change.

      • lolsy254 says:

        I’m not sure they ever will. I just got into a fight over something that hasn’t happened, but they never came and asked me about it.

  6. Very good information. I was accused of gossiping and denied it emphatically. Until I stopped and took an honest look at myself. I had just never looked at it as gossip as I never said (or meant to say) anything derogatory about anyone else, and never told lies or spread rumors, but I realized (too late) that I had been gossiping. The biggest question to ask yourself: Would I say this in front of the person? If the answer is No, then it’s gossip. I only wish I had known this sooner. I realized too late and the damage had been done to my own reputation by my ignorance. I’m still embarrassed by the whole incident. (If you are interested, you can read the post I did about it here:

  7. Reblogged this on Mastering Today and commented:
    Think about this next time you find yourself getting caught up in these situations!

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