The Lonely Introvert: It seems like an oxymoron at first. How can people who desire time alone and often thrive working by themselves get lonely? Fairly easily, actually.
People are social creatures whether introverted or extroverted, and need interactions with others. However for introverts, it’s not the quantity of social interactions they have that makes them feel socially satisfied, it’s the quality of those interactions.
As Sophia Dembling explains in The Introvert’s Way, “Introverts don’t get lonely if they don’t socialize with a lot of people, but we do get lonely if we don’t have intimate interactions on a regular basis,”. This can be a blessing and a curse. Since introverts desire such a deep connection to feel fulfilled, it makes it difficult to find people to connect with.
I was always a quiet introvert with just a few close friends. I often feel lonely or bored at large parties – even if I know all the people there, the party atmosphere is not suitable for long conversations. Hanging out with strangers with loud music blaring and alcohol never appealed to me. My ideal social interaction would be a long conversation with a close friend in a quiet environment away from other people.
Unfortunately, such deep connections are not easy to find, and when I get caught short and my only choice is superficial socializing or nothing, I can get very lonely.
What about you? Do you ever feel lonely?