What is intimacy?
The feeling of being in a close personal and affectionate association and belonging together… of a bond that is formed through knowledge and experience of the other…
Recent research shows there are different areas of intimacy.
On this level, you can converse with your partner about current events, share ideas and thoughts, even debate political and religious topics. Both of you are able to add to the conversation through exchange of thoughts and ideas.
This is about recreational activities that the two of you enjoy participating in, whether individually, or together.
It’s totally okay for you to have your own friends, and he have his, as long as the two of you have some “common” friends. Couple friendships can be an added bonus to a relationship by being a sounding board, providing feedback and accountability.
This is where you, as a pair, grow deeper together. While this area of intimacy is the most subjective, due to the various religious backgrounds and practices you may have, it is still a very important component. In my opinion, it’s one of the most important, since a blossoming relationship is spiritual in nature at its core.
Emotional intimacy is a psychological event that happens when the trust level and communication between two people is so deep that it breeds the mutual sharing of each other’s innermost selves. It is unrestrained mutual self disclosure.
In our most intimate relationships, we expect to be accepted as we are, respected, worthy, and even admired in the eyes of our mate. We would like our relationship to be a safe haven for us when we are worn and tired. We want a place of compassion and support.
Sexual expression is part of our hard-wiring and can be both exhilarating and invigorating for a couple, use in the right context.
It’s important to realize that having a sex life doesn’t have to mean having sexual intercourse. Intimate contact of any kind with your spouse is what is important and necessary. Human beings are by nature sexual creatures with an innate desire to touch, cuddle and feel.
In recent years, a large number of couples have focused mainly on the physical part of a relationship, reducing intimacy into a series of positions and practices, rather than focusing on holistically expanding a solid relationship in all areas of intimacy.
An essential ingredient of intimacy is allowing your spouse to be himself (or herself) without striving to conform him (or her) to your ideals.
In intimacy, we try to grow closer together, not to eliminate the “otherness,” but to enjoy it. Men and women are different and we must not, even with good intentions, seek to destroy those differences.
From Mars vs Venus
What keeps us from experiencing intimacy? All of us are egocentric; the world revolves around us. Yet, when we focus on self, we lose intimacy.
The opposite of self-centeredness, then, is love. Love concentrates on the well-being of the spouse. We take time to listen to the thoughts, feelings, and desires of our spouse. We seek to understand and to respond with empathy. We choose to do things with each other, even things that may not be our favorite activities, simply because we want to be with each other.