36 thoughts on “Love your parents and treat them with loving care for you will only know their value when you see their empty chair

  1. Ajaytao2010 says:

    Very nice this si absolutely necessary

    • Otrazhenie says:

      Thanks, Ajay. Glad that you liked this post 🙂

      • Ajaytao2010 says:

        yes western especially are very very irresponsible towards their parents it is not their fault but their upbringing is like that their parents even did not care about their parents so do they follow suit, this is necessary for them

        This a general notion pertaining to no particular section of people

      • Otrazhenie says:

        Hm, I think ‘’all generalisations are false, including this one”, Ajay. There are lots of wonderful families in the Eastern societies and there are lots of wonderful families in the Western societies. Unfortunately, there are also dysfunctional families – in the East as well as in the West.

        In general modern Western families do differ from more traditional Eastern or Eastern European families: e.g. in modern Western families extended family members (e.g. grandparents, uncles etc.) rarely live under the same roof and have less ‘influence’ on the functioning of the primary ‘nuclear’ family core (parents and their growing children) than in more ‘traditional’ Eastern and Eastern European families. However in my experience such clearer delineation of roles, responsibilities and influencing ‘power’ makes the primary ‘core’ family stronger as there are less negative destabilising influences from the ‘in-laws’ and other conflicting sources of ‘influencing power’ within the extended family.

        Similarly, predominant parenting styles might differ in the West and in the East – that does not make Western parents worse than Eastern parents. If something is different, it does not mean that it is better or worse – it is simply different 😉

      • Ajaytao2010 says:

        I did not stress on the point of western families dear, I just wanted to remind you that it is more common a fact that western families are more prone to such type of behavior, that does not mean eastern are not prone to that but if you survey you will find more western families prone to this they are comparatively more independent in nature, caring for their old parents is their personal choice and I am not detesting that at all but I just say comparing to eastern societies western societies are more independent and not bad or good in anyway

        Sorry if I have hurt your feelings dear but I just expressed my opinion on what I felt and have always seen

      • Otrazhenie says:

        Oh no, Ajay, you did not hurt my feelings at all. You are right – like with any other model, Eastern and Western family models do have strengths and weaknesses that can make it easier for certain anomalies to develop within the culture.

        With regard to elderly care, it is also important to remember that the notions around what is ‘good care’ might differ from culture to culture and from person to person. As an example, my elderly mother-in-law completely refuses to come to live with us or with any of her other children even though her health started deteriorating and it worries all of us. Her independence is very important for her and she wants to live alone in her own home with her beloved pussy cat. Therefore we needed to come up with other ways of caring for her while respecting her wishes and preferences, e.g. phoning and visiting her regularly, arranging extra home support (cleaning, cooked meals delivered daily, gardening etc.)

        In comparison, in the Eastern Europe where I grew up it was normal for elderly parents to live with one of their children therefore the way families cared for their elderly parents was different. People there often thought that Western people neglect their elderly parents because they don’t live under the same roof to care for them.

        There are lots of little nuances in all cultures which are hard to understand without having lived within that culture (e.g. being part of that culture, fully integrated via family ties etc., having opportunity to examine that culture from within). Only through dialog and exchanging opinions we can uncover some of these nuances. That’s why I like your comments so much, Ajay. You have a totally different life experience from me and allow me to look at things in a different way through your eyes. :-)

      • Ajaytao2010 says:

        yes dear I totally agree with you, before speaking or giving opinion one should practically have experience of all minor nuances of the particular society

        so right I agree with you

        thank you dear

      • Otrazhenie says:

        It is amazing how often we agree with each other even though we might be ‘seeing’ things in a different ways or looking at them from different perspectives. Our little conversation inspired me to put together a little post on seeing. Love talking to your, Ajay. Thanks for always taking time to comment on my posts and express your opinion. Much appreciated 🙂

      • Ajaytao2010 says:

        Dear Otrazhenie I really really agree with every post you post or everything you write dear, you know I find you my exact female form, your softness and tenderness always project what I feel dear in a much better way,
        I dont know but can say that you write exactly as I would have written about any subject dear, but I am a male and that too somewhat violent in my views,
        but you write in a more suttle and feminine way which I really really love

        So the conclusion is you are far more better in your expression

        Thank you and Love you friend, thanks for being there


  2. melanie says:

    very inspiring, but it’s just a nice theory(statement)… real & concrete life is often at the opposite pole, unfortunately…(I’m thinkin’ of a previous post about kids with divorced parents…) It’s hard, sometimes impossible to offer love(affection) to parents who haven’t given us any or have never shown their parental feelings…

    • Otrazhenie says:

      True. However even if we ourselves were not lucky to have good parents, personally this video and image inspire me to break that cycle of poor parenting and become a good parent myself – to start the cycle of love and affection within the family. I think this video illustrates that point very well – it starts from a beautiful picture of loving parenting. Without this start one can hardly expect a ‘happy’ end…

      When I was working in an orphanage in Eastern Europe, I’ve seen children from very dysfunctional families, neglected by their parents, regularly beaten, verbally abused, denied food and basic care. Such parents definitely deserve neither love nor respect from their children – or from anyone else in the society. I find it hard even calling them ‘parents’. Unfortunately, any rule has exceptions and no quote/image/thought can relate to all possible cases and variations in reality 😦

      • melanie says:

        yes, you’re right, dear O… as far as I’m concerned, I did break that “cycle” and our 2 desired “old babies” have often told us:”maman and papa, you’ve given us so much love, trust, respect and devotion for all our lifetime…”(translation from French!) After these words, I could die tomorrow or now without any regrets…
        – – –
        @”an orphanage in Eastern Europe…” – in Romania?… 😦

      • Otrazhenie says:

        You are such a lucky mother. I’m so pleased that you managed to break the negative cycle in your family. I’m sure, all the love you gave to your children will be passed down from generation to generation 🙂

        With regard to orphanage, I worked in a Russian orphanage in 1990s. I wrote a few stories based on my experience of working in this orphanage at https://otrazhenie.wordpress.com/2012/08/10/oh-girls/ and https://otrazhenie.wordpress.com/2012/08/10/walking-home/ I still often think about those children 😦

  3. True words and they have to be taken by the heart. Lots of love

  4. ”Love your parents and treat them with loving care for you will only know their value when you see their empty chair” – so true.

  5. arnulfo says:

    Reblogged this on The grokking eagle.

  6. brianhickey2 says:

    how true this is. I never thought about my parents,or refused to think about them dying but they did and it was devastating in both cases

  7. rixbitz says:

    Very cool/poignant video. A reminder again that there are some universal truths that need no translating.

  8. Kat says:

    Ever so true. The problem is, that I have known this my entire adulthood and have worried that my parents would die before I could heal old wounds between us. I have tried hard to forgive, but I am not sure all the anger is gone yet. Nor am I sure they have forgiven me. I am especially worried about my father as that is the hardest relationship to mend. We have never been close and it is impossible to tell him how I feel when my step-mother is always in the way. I want so desperately to tell my Dad I love him and have him actually believe that. I want so desperately to tell both my parents I am so sorry for my short comings and failures and the hurt I have caused them. When I finally see those empty chairs of theirs I want to feel at peace and know they knew I valued them.

  9. A very moving post. My sympathy goes out to all who didn’t have loving parents. I’m re-blogging this.

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