By Karen K Boyer
He never looks for praises
He’s never one to boast
He just goes on quietly working
For those he loves the most
His dreams are seldom spoken
His wants are very few
And most of the time his worries
Will go unspoken too
He’s there…. A firm foundation
Through all our storms of life
A sturdy hand to hold to
In times of stress and strife
A true friend we can turn to
When times are good or bad
One of our greatest blessings,
The man that we call Dad.
“Our fathers carry half of our genetic makeup. Our relationship with our father plays a huge part of who we will become. In many segments of society, people grow up without ever knowing their fathers. This is unfortunate because fathers should play as important a role in raising their children as mothers. A father is the model of a man for his daughter and she will choose a man who is like him. A father is the model for his son as well. Fortunately, there is a trend for fathers to be more active in their children’s lives.”
Consider these nine side effects of growing up without a father in the home:
1. Crisis of identity — A boy’s search for self starts with his father. Without a dad, most boys have a harder time knowing who they are and where they came from. As men, they often have difficulty taking initiative and demonstrating leadership.
2. Silent anger — Anger is a deep-rooted side effect of growing up fatherless. When men are unable to place their anger squarely on their father, where it often belongs, they can suffer from frequent bouts of rage or, on the flipside, serious self-loathing.
3. Need to belong — The need to be part of a family or “tribe” is a powerful force in boys. With a father in the picture, a boy has a sense of belonging; without one, he looks outside the family for alliances and, according to research, is more likely to join a gang. As men, boys without fathers frequently choose alliances unwisely.
4. Loss of value — These boys are most likely to grow up poor, and as men, they deal with lifelong repercussions related to education, work and their overall livelihood.
5. Poor judge of character — Without a dad around, boys are frequently left to model character traits from the world around them, including sports, music and movie stars.
6. Lack of respect — Fathers who don’t show up for their sons exemplify disrespect. That’s what they teach their sons, and that’s what their sons, as men, carry with them.
7. An unfilled void — Boys without fathers usually feel incomplete. As men, many try to fill this void with alcohol, drugs, sex, violence and other self-destructive behaviors.
8. Distorted view of sex — Many fatherless boys have a lot of unanswered questions about sex, which is an uncomfortable topic they are not likely to discuss with their moms. In manhood, they often avoid talking about sex or seeking the kind of practical advice that leads to creating healthy and whole relationships.
9. Troubles with love — Boys without fathers often equate love with vulnerability. In adulthood, these men often have issues trusting others in matters of the heart.